Day 32 So many mistakes

But for this prompt about the last mistake I made I'm thinking of a silly one. Friday nights we order Taco Bell and my fiance goes to pick it up. This last Friday I didn't stay on the app long enough to verify it went through so they didn't have our order when he got there. All I could sense from his texts was judgement and accusation even though I knew better. He didn't care that much. I'm sure he was a little annoyed but I instantly went on the defensive and also kept apologizing over and over to my son and mom for our food being delayed.

Such is the life of the perfectionist.

 

I make mistakes, I am human. I love myself anyway.
I used to meditate on this.
Recovering from perfectionism and goodism can be done, but it’s ongoing work.

 

These are 2 different feelings. Opposites. Which one did you really feel?

 

What I felt vs what I knew rationally were different.

 

The Rational Is the "Adult" and what you felt was "The Child". The Child was appealing to the "Parent"
OR Ego, ID and SuperEgo.
"But isn't this a silly little nothing burger?" says the adult.
"NO....No one should ever get upset with me, because I am a child" shouts the Child....
"Just ignore her, she's always throwing tantrums" whispers the Parent, pretending to be the adult.

all over Taco Bell. But our life is made up of Trips to the bathroom, taking out the trash, getting things done around the house, reading books, Taco Bell and other very real things. The Parent/super-ego doesn't like it, but the adult knows it's true. From what I've learned, if I have learned anything, is the Child being ignored seems to cause me to need TMS. Super-ego parent is pompous and high minded, but that can motivate us to try harder, become better people etc. The Adult is the one who doesn't understand WHY we are having TMS, because it "Doesn't stand to reason"

The Child list in the front of Mindbody Prescription is where I have a lot of 'Aha!' moments. Super ego and Ego oftentimes forget that guy even exists!
Or they pretend he doesn't...and then he throws a tantrum.

and THAT is when we begin to get over TMS. When those two idea's can sit without jostling for position.

 

I think this is exactly right. It's why I don't like the move away from the psychological explanation (Freudian) to the brain-based neuroplastic disorder model. Freud has been much maligned in the last 40 years, mainly because it isn't an "evidence-based" model that can be scientifically explained. But the Freudian model that Sarno used to explain TMS works very well.

 

Amen. I don't really even understand the other one. I read Schubiner but I didn't finish it. I must not be smart enough.
Writing a play with three characters is pretty easy. just stick the appropriate words in their mouth and see where the rub is...that's usually the 'problem'...

 

I definitely gravitate more to Sarno and use Sachs' methods more than any other. I have a BA in psychology and while I know Freud made some mistakes, he still resonates with me just based on my own behaviors. I try my hand at some of the neuroplastic work (a bit of somatic tracking) but it doesn't speak to me on the same level.

I tried tapping last night and couldn't wrap my head around it at all. I'm glad it works for some and don't have issue with it, just not for me.

 

Seconded, Madam Chairman!