Someone explain

San Miller says changing your state, finding joy, lifting yourself etc is suppression and you wont heal. You should just br sad if your sad etc.
That makes no sense to me. So if you constantly feel like a victim she is basically saying embrace that.
Everyone else says the complete opposite.

Does anyone actually know or agree with eachother.

Trust the process my arse. There is no process

 

Take no notice of Sam Miller then, or you can try out her particular take on things—the choice, of course, is yours.

"Everyone else" aren't all saying that you shouldn't acknowledge when you're sad (or whatever) and allow and experience that sadness. Looking out for moments of joy and savouring them when they happen isn't an anathema to that.

"The brain is like Teflon for positive experiences but Velcro for negative ones." ~ Rick Hanson, Ph.D.

Savouring those positive moments/experiences just tips the balance—it's not suppression or repression (and it's not about being Pollyanna-ish).

 

How can we entice you to start being kind to yourself and others again?

You just have to find a voice that resonates with you and start making small steps towards a goal.

These rants will not get you anywhere.

 

Amen, to this!

 

Feeling sad is not the same as thinking you are a victim. The thought "I am a victim" is your brain interpreting the feeling "I feel sad." The problem is your brain's interpretation, not the emotion.

 

Once again calm, you’re looking outside yourself for answers.

you’ve already been embracing victimhood and obsessing over the physical, is that working out?

Almost certain Sam is referring to feeling and processing your current state then moving forward once it’s done, not just sticking your fingers in your ears saying lalallala I am happy and safe. But I don’t consumer her content anymore so maybe I’m wrong, can you link or transcribe what she said?

the issue is people are using different terms or words to describe the same stuff because everyone’s try to carve out their space and niche.

 

@CalmIsTheCure
Sending out love to you! I know you’re really in pain and it’s so tempting to be hopeless. I think a lot of us face that temptation every day. But, it absolutely gets you nowhere to focus on the negative. I noticed that you almost always rant about anything having to do with solutions to healing. You’re still on the quest for “the solution.” There isn’t one. Stop looking for it. Go deep inside and cultivate peace— with everything about your life. There’s this song that was popular in the 60s (maybe the 70s, I can’t remember) but the title was “I beg your pardon. I never promised you a rose garden.” The truth is there are no promises in this existence. Absolutely zero promises that we won’t have pain or loss or trauma. Some of us have a lot. I think the best solution there is is an internal faith of some kind in what this life means. That’s the question you need to solve. What does this life mean? Christianity has a lot of answers to the reason for suffering. I find them very comforting and expansive. However you do it, you have to get out of your head. Out of victimhood. That’s the place that’s just going to kill you. Have you ever read Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis? You might like it.

 

Just because I haven't spilt my life story here does not mean I have not gone deeper in my journalling or therapy.
I have come to understand a lot about myself. Where its come from etc.
So yes I have.

My helplessness is coming from I have no idea how to heal.

Maybe this forum isnt the corrwct place to get that answer.

My point is no one actually seems to agree with one another.

And the people that have healed.arent on this forum anymore.

 

How am I being mean to.myself?

 

Healing is not an idea. It's knowledge + practice + belief

That's correct. It's for support.

I'm here. I first recovered in 2013. JanA is still here. Others pop in from time to time. Most are off living their lives without TMS.

 

@CalmIsTheCure It's as Ellen says, plus there's also @Adam Coloretti (coach) who is recovered, and @Cactusflower and I also regularly respond to people's postings; we have both gone from being bedridden and housebound (bedridden for a total of over 18 months and housebound for many years in my case until I found mind/body work) to functioning profoundly well by comparison.

 

Sad in an emotion.
Victim is a state of mind.

Sam is saying feel the emotions when you get sad but if you are sad all the time it is probably depression. Depression is a common TMS symptom, and yes, I think it can go hand in hand with some sort of feeling of victimization and other negative thoughts.

There's a big difference between feeling the emotions and wallowing in a state of mind.
Emotions pass in seconds to minutes as we feel them.
States of mind stick around longer. They take work to get out of and Sam has a process to begin to change that state of mind. It takes time. I was absolutely stuck in a horrific state of mind for several years.

Where are you at?
Do you want to step away from any TMS work for awhile and just clear your mind so you can start from ground 0?
Does the thought of stepping away terrify you or make you feel like you are giving up?
What about even making concrete decisions of how you want to proceed if you decide to follow the TMS path of doing the work? Can you make a schedule of the "work" you choose (maybe just one thing a day) that resonates with you and stick with that for 30 days no matter what. No matter how you think, no matter how you feel. Even if you dislike it, just stick with it for 30 days?

Just making those kind of decisions is what dug me out of self-victimization. I began to see the power I had to choose my path forward no matter what that path was. Much of my own method is completely counter to what many TMS coaches believe one should do. I don't care: I don't harbor resentments or anger at their methods. If it is working for me, it is working for me. But I started by making one decision and sticking with it. I still follow that decision to this day.

 

I still sign in to check if there are any posts related to the symptoms I had so I can give that person advice since the person is more willing to listen to someone who had their symptoms but I don't post a lot because a lot of posts are about the philosophy of mindbody work and how to think which I don't think matters. I think its actually counter productive because it becomes too word salady and confusing for the person. Stick to the stuff that is logically absolute - learn the material, face your fears, feel your feelings such as anger and express them(journaling, visualizations), change behaviors to not be so nice and perfect, therapy. 99% of Sam millers stuff is pointless along with a lot of teachers material because it only takes 5 minutes to explain to someone everything they need to do. They're trying to generate perpetual content for their channels.

 

I bought another copy of 'Healing Back Pain" by Dr. Sarno. It was $ 1,50, used, not damaged, just old looking, yellowish pages. And I'm going to read and study it again and pay more attention. I already started.

Back to the basics. And after I finish it, I'll start reading it again until I memorize it...and I'm not kidding here. Like Baseball65 did.