Speaking to Your Parents

When did you last speak to your parents? was one of the questions asked. I have my mother staying with me at the moment. We had a row the other night (not uncommon). I did end up with me crying my eyes out and telling her how badly her thoughtless, narcissistic behaviour had affected me when I was growing up. She knows this but it keeps coming up. And she does apologise and is sympathetic - though it took years for her to stop being defensive and trying to deny it was a problem (how they brought me up, I mean).

I've had counselling about this stuff too it too but I am still enraged. Although she is a great mother in many ways and she is very supportive I find her utterly enraging in many other ways, still. She is 86.

I'm completely convinced that the things I endured growing up led to me developing CFS/ME.
It has to be said they really can, as Philip Larkin wrote, “mess” you up, your mum and dad! Only he didn't say “mess”... ; )

I'm not looking for feedback exactly from the community, I am just sharing.

 

She's here with me now - you'd think we were best friends but I know all the issues swirling beneath! At least she is apologetic and understands the impact her actions (and those of my beloved step-father) had on me. We can love our parents and abhor their decisions and actions at the same time.

 

My older brother told me once, "I love Mom, but I don't like her." I understood and at times felt the same. I do think it's healthier for us to emphasize the " love" part over the "like" part.