Squatting and deadlifting 200lbs when my back is suppose to be broken

195lbs squat 200lb deadlift and growing

3 years ago couldn’t pick keys up off the table without back pain. MRI said herniated disc l5s1 bi lateral pars defect , ddd, and
spondylolisthesis grade 1

Last November my emotions where running wild. I own and operate a heating business that is hard on your body and bending and lifting and twisting was a real challenge. I was slipping discs and getting laid up for for days in pain. I struggled to figure out what I was going to do about my business and career

Employees were a real stress factor and being a people pleaser took its toll emotionally

Priding myself on a 5 star company. I feared the day I got a bogus 1 one star. Or even a legitimate one.

I didn’t want to give up the business I built for 11 years and been doing my entire life. I said to myself. I wish I was in a wheelchair because then deciding to get rid of the business that I thought was destroying my body would be an easier decision to make. I was looking for an excuse and my mind started giving me one. More and more distraction pain

At the end of December I gave my business to another company forwarded the phones to give my self a mental and physical break. (Temporary) I was ready to burn this business to the ground. The one I worked 10 hard long years to build. It was finally providing my family with financial security that everyone dreams off.

Here I was had everything I wanted and I couldn’t even walk to my truck without looking like a crippled broken old man. At the healthy age if 36

I took 2 months off and naturally the business slows down so I worked very part time until March. In March I discovered dr Sarnos books and methods of healing. I was a prime candidate. I had all the symptoms of a man with tms

Narcissistic personality ( right? Why else would I post this ? )
Perfectionist
Business owner with business stresses
People pleaser
I had a dead beat dad (why didn’t daddy love me?)
Moved around alot as a child lots of schools
Lived in the ghetto without understanding that as a child
In 2007 Had a premature baby that spent 4 months in intensive care where we dreadfully witnessed him die and come back to life before our eyes

First couple years of his life challenged our marriage and us as parents (he’s healthy and good now, with mild Aspergers)

Add to that my desire to own a business that struggled and nearly bankrupted me (debt free now )

I became a Slave to my business to the point it was sapping my enjoyment of life focusing too much on this pillar of life. I needed to focus on all areas

The point of all this is a bit of a quick reflecting on my life and to share the upside

***************** upside
I still own my business with no employees and work only as much as I want within reason
Managing emotions and my pain
Learning to accept that I am in control my life
Developing a IDGAF attitude
I only have so many fucks to give in a single day so I use them wisely
Working out 3-4 times a week getting stronger and becoming pain free
No chiropractor or pt since March
I use a lift belt during heavy lifts not because I am broken but because it’s smart and safe. Tms doesn’t make you invincible to new injuries

I hope this gives people some hope, have an amazing Sunday

 

You did give me hope! So happy to hear of your success. I am 3 yr into my TMS journey and still working on it. All the best to you!

 

Love it. IDGAF is my new mantra

 

What a strong person you are, I admire your strength.