Day 5 Status Quo mostly

Day 5 my morning waking fear or jitters seem to be not as frequent. Though not as frequent when they do happen they tend to be a little more intense.

I spent the day helping a friend move some heavy items. The usual panic/anxiety interruptions with blips of pain continued but I started to really think there isn’t anything actually wrong with me. It’s finally starting to sink in. It’s starting to sink in that whatever happens is ok, I don’t have to accommodate the pain or anxiety. I can allow them to just happen on their own and be with it until it dissolves. It’s easier said than done but as I really start to believe and notice it more and more it does become easier.

Later at work, after wrapping up with a demonstration for the new people I started having weird symptoms. Oh, it was a panic attack. Like some kind of extinction burst. Panic with intensity! Dizziness, hot flash, mild nausea, head pressure and feeling a bit faint or like feeling sleepy, I guess that’s feeling faint idk and some shakiness. I am having them less often now and have gone a really long while since one that I almost forget what it is and what to do. They peak at about 30 mins then Just residual feelings and feeling groggy or out of it unless I ignore it and accept. If I dwell and try to track it can go on for a lot longer.

It sort of feels like as I love closer and closer the little symptoms bite down harder.