Day 25 Stressed Out

Hey y'all,

I'm pretty tired and stressed out, because my husband's job is up in the air right now and he is freaking out, so I'm freaking out too. When I freak out, it's like I am completely out of my body. Like I can't feel a thing and then later once I get out of full panic mode, the pain descends.

The good thing is that normally my pain levels would spike up by now and I would be bedridden with a migraine or a neck spasm. But, I journalled very intensively and didn't buy into that internal bully's rhethoric that I am stupid and weak.

Don't get me wrong, that voice still popped up and said all those things, but I decided to just not believe it, and instead decided to accept that I don't have any control over this situation, and that I am only responsible for my own reactions. I did some deep breathing and held to my guns and this morning my neck is only a little tight and I have confidence that it will fade.

I'm feeling a little blue, but that's ok and is part of the human experience. It will pass.

Thank y'all for reading!

 

I hear you, I really do. You have deployed tools you’ve learned to help you through the most recent tough news. From your story, you have already survived much worse, with pain, that’s true, but you’re still standing. The grueling experience with your brother may have taken something out of you, but you are re-fueling here in order to cope with the latest crisis in a healthier way. I am happy to see you calming yourself, accepting what you cannot change with more openness towards life as it happens. For me, it took many years to let go and allow rather than trying to control everything because of others’ expectations that I then made my own. These are very trying times that put extra pressure on all of us. Some anxiety is natural, but fear can be primitive. Stay faithful. You are only at the beginning of positive changes coming your way. Your husband will survive this also. When my Beloved lost his job many years ago, he was loathe to tell me. By some miracle I said the right things, relieving him of feeling like he had somehow failed, and it brought us closer. And yes, he found another, better job.

 

Really great that you are doing so well

 

Hey @Mtnjac,

Thank you so much. This made me cry (in a really good way). It's so kind, supportive, and deeply true.

I don't think it's any miracle that you said the right things. It seems like you have an incredible gift for it. Whoever gets to have you in their lives is fortunate indeed.

 

Thank you for being there @berlinale. I am still checking the weather in Berlin and watching some German television shows in your honor. I hope you're feeling better!

 

@JanAtheCPA,

Thank you, again! You are all over these boards doling out great advice and encouragement. <3