Day 3 strong desire to do SEP perfectly

I have a strong desire to do SEP “perfectly.” I've lived my life chasing praise—especially from my family—and seeing positive comments in this community makes me want to do even better so I can be praised more. It’s strange because those compliments won’t feed me or solve any of my real-life problems, yet I still crave them deeply. I've always sought compliments from others, particularly from my parents... The problem is, it doesn’t end with just feeling happy about compliments—if I don’t get them, I feel like I must have done something wrong. This might be a TMS personality trait too.

I'm also debating whether I should stop stretching. A physical therapist at a rehab center once told me that certain stretches and core exercises would help “correct” my “imbalanced body” and strengthen my back to prevent pain. Exercises like leg raises and planks did seem somewhat effective. My pelvis used to be visibly tilted, and after 20 rehab sessions, it appeared more aligned.

Because of this, part of me still wonders if there’s something structurally wrong with my body. But then again—not everyone with scoliosis or physical imbalances suffers from chronic disabling pain! I’m confused about what’s true.

Today is Parents’ Day in my country. I gave my parents the book Healing Back Pain as a gift—they both suffer from chronic back pain too. Over the past month, I’ve talked so passionately about TMS that they’ve started to show interest. I really hope not just me, but my whole family can heal.

I shed some tears while journaling for Day 3—even though I only wrote down two traumatic events.

Q. When was the last time you exercised or did another physical activity?

A. Yesterday, I did lat pulldowns and hip abductions at the gym. These exercises make my thighs feel stronger and my back feel flatter—it’s a satisfying feeling. Swimming is actually my favorite form of exercise! I love the silence underwater, and the slightly damp feeling of my hair as I leave the pool.

In 2023, I got shoulder bursitis and knee pain while swimming, and a doctor advised me to stop all strokes except freestyle. Since then, I’ve occasionally gone swimming but avoided every stroke other than freestyle. However, last week, I swam 100 meters of breaststroke—and nothing bad happened. I want to slowly return to activities I once believed I could never do again.

Sorry this got so long—thank you for reading.

 

wow this is great insight! that’s fantastic you recognize that.Don’t let perfection get in your way.

oh, you poor guy! I share in this misery so much with you! we both need to get more self-esteem. This book I’m reading is helping me so much. It’s called Feeling Good, by David Burns. It addresses all these issues. I love this book!

I think the tension from TMS causes people to get misaligned. Dan Buglio stood crooked for 12 years. Have you seen a picture of him? Fix the TMS and you will fix your alignment. Stay focused on your emotions.

Yes!!!! don’t believe any of it! Swimming is so wonderful. be free, swim how you want! that’s what’s Sarno said. This is from his book, The MindBody Prescription:

“The path to resumption of full physical activity, without fear, may be slow and uneven. Don’t worry if you begin to exercise too soon and experience some pain. You cannot hurt yourself; TMS is a benign process. Continuing pain with activity means the brain is still in the process of changing its programming. You must bide your time, try and try again, and stay secure in the knowledge that you will prevail in the end. This has proven to be the case for thousands of patients.”

 

Thank you. I think I’ll borrow Feeling Good from the library and give it a read. I skimmed the table of contents and it honestly felt like it was describing my life. I’ve been interested in cognitive therapy, and it seems like something I could try on my own. That story about actual physical imbalances being corrected is truly amazing! The more I learn about TMS, the more magical it feels.

 

Yay!!! Let me know what you think about it.