Structured Program's Homework Doubts and questions

I am instructed to post how I'm doing and what doubts or fears I have about the program. My back is very good right now. 5 in the mid back and 3 in the si joint. But I did take a vicodin at 7 am it's 11:30 am here so that has worn off and the back is still good compared to usual which is a big hallelujah. I had a crisitical mid-back attack after going an hour on the eliptical trainer Monday pushin the arms back and forth seemed to do it. So in my logical mind this re-inforces the idea that something is "wrong" with that join otherwise why would exercising it cause so much pain? Swimming does the same thing excruciating pain in the middle of my back. Also theoretical question: since the pain is a distraction from painful emotions- wouldn't it follow if I take a painkiller, the emotion would emerge? These are my current condition, and questions-doubts (not really) about the diagnosis and therapy.

 

Dr. Sarno talks about conditioning...if you had pain before swimming now your mind associates swimming with the pain.

I used to be convinced that a lot of my pain was caused by sitting in one specific chair at home. Sometimes I would sit in the chair for 2 minutes to check my email and I'd have a headache the whole day. That doesn't make any sense.

You know what--I'm sitting in that chair right now and I'm fine, but it took a few times of being able to sit here pain free before I was able to let go of the mental connection between this chair and pain.

The mind just wants to distract you--for a while when I wasn't in pain, I started having horrible anxiety which was also a great distraction. A few weeks have gone by and I'm not really having that any more.

It seems to be a process. I'm extremely driven and fast-paced so this is hard for me to accept...but I'm getting there. And I'm sure you will too!

 

I disagree here. I have been taking pain medication throughout both programs I've done. I've learned a great deal as to why I am in pain and I know why I use the pain medication. I've been brutally honest with myself and believe I'm much further down the road to recovery than someone who has my same situation and isn't taking pain medication.

It doesn't matter one way or the other - what matters is the honesty in which you approach each exercise. And I agree with Forest in the sense that you aren't going to "think more clearly" (if that's what you meant) because you are on pain medication. That won't work or we'd all be on it.

But you can use it for your pain as long as you're working through the program being as honest as you can with yourself. That is the key.

My question was answered here:

http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/can-i-start-tms-treatment-while-still-taking-pain-medicines.12/

 

My pain has come back the last 3 days, I admit while the pain was gone I stopped reading and working on the program, big mistake! Today I lay down and listened to audio of Sarno's mind body prescription for hours. It got harder and harder to listen to because I felt swallowed up by the pain. I finally took a 5mg Valium and the pain went completely away for the first time in days. I thought, it is in my head, I must be holding in tension or anger I have to keep working on TMS. The reason I took a Valium is Tylenol doesn't do much of anything for the pain. I have been trying to take nothing but doing that I find myself accidentally snapping at my husband and having to apologize because I can't control feeling swallowed up in pain and angry because I can't make it go away...

 

Marla:

You've actually hit on something big here. You're right Valium does nothing for pain - but it DOES relieve anxiety. I think the reason your symptoms came back is probably something going on in your life now that is stressful and causing you anxiety. That can bring on the pain. Anxiety is a huge roadblock I know I face, perhaps you do too.

Do you write in a journal? Most every morning I just start to free write and it's amazing the things that come out that I'm angry or frustrated about. This is anxiety. So, it's no wonder the Valium worked. Good luck with working with the real culprit here. You're almost there!

BG