Struggling but committed

Hi Everyone

I am new here and I am so happy I found this space. I boosted my Great Dane into the back of my car about 8 weeks ago and felt a muscle pull. That was the catalyst for my anxiety anger and depression to find a place to live, in my hip, lower back, knee, etc. “2mm disc bulge on scan hitting nerve” but I know that’s not it.

Even though my pain has not been for a long time, when I read Dr Sarnos books only about 4 days ago, I now know that my pain is from TMS. It is crystal clear to me, I should say that it is crystal clear to me during waking hours. At night doubt creeps in because of the pain and inability to sleep.

The muscle pain is intense and nothing touches it. I need advice for the nights. How to talk to my brain at night. I spiral from the pain. Painkillers make my mind a mess but I have to take some from time to time.
Thanks for listening. My husband is ever so supportive and knows this pain origin is TMS, so I am leaning on him and this community

 

We all had that. Keep reading and re-reading and scribble down everything you relate to.

That was the only thing Sarno prescribed for that. He said TMS was the most painful thing he knew of in clinical medicine.

That is one of the best opportunities for reconditioning your brain.
When I was a kid I used to fantasize about being at Disneyland to fall asleep (My favorite place in the world)
As an adult with TMS I go to that same place but focus on all of the things that I am NOT happy about, in my life, in my world, etc...
It's on Pg 77 in Healing Back Pain. I literally think of all of the things that make me angry that I have no control over. THAT Is what breaks the conditioning and tells the unconscious that you no longer need it's "help"

Those are two of the most TMS Loaded things in MY world at least... keeping a roof over my head and what a Codependent I am with my dog.
I love her..I treat her better than I treat myself, and I have to Boost her into my car as well. (Her Brother Jumps up with no aid....spoiled a little?)
Any time I think about moving I have to worry about HER well being. I rent this expensive place so SHE can have a huge yard and run around. When things got tough economically I cut out all sorts of self indulgencies, but never her treats, custom food, etc....
That is enraging to the unconscious But how can I get mad at HER? She's so innocent and sweet.
I don't...I just get a symptom.

peace and welcome. You're in the right place

 

Hello @lizzybava
There really isn't any different between day and night, except our perceptions of what is about to happen: I MUST sleep...this hurts so bad I will be AWAKE and CAN'T sleep etc.
But this is not really where this process starts. This is just a worry, and rumination you currently have. As we understand the meaning of TMS and about it's function and get used to the idea, sometimes our minds do what we around here call "TMS-ing" which is to find spot to get stuck upon and keep thinking about. This is called a distraction - it's a distraction from all the new information your mind is trying to digest. While you are conciously thinking "Oh, yes! TMS" your subconscious is thinking "OMG she is on to us, and now we have to work even harder to protect her from the terrible and horrible truth about what we are really all about!"
I have been there, I totally understand this.
But you need to start at the very beginning.
It's wonderful you've read Dr. Sarno's book.
Can you slow down and think about what he says to do about TMS? What were his instructions?
Not one single one discussed pain and what do do about pain does it?
It discussed how you THINK and feel about the pain.
"I spiral from the pain"
You spiral from the anxiety by constantly thinking about the pain. It is keeping you from thinking about what is truly causing this pain, isn't it?
It's OK to take painkillers.
Also, sometimes we do get pinched nerves etc. They aren't considered chronic pain until they last beyond the healing period, so hang tight. You may have some legitimate pain, and maybe not. It's also wonderful that you realize that your freaking out about it is TMS, and that you acknowledge that you have anger, anxiety and depression.
Sarno's #1 - think psychological! When you are beginning to dread your nights, think about how the things are doing to you. There is a loop of fear in which our actual fear of the fear itself can make us spin in circles. I think that's where you might be. Another of Dr. Sarno's great tennants is that TMS is BENIGN and it is TEMPORARY.
Now to deal with the anxiety. Sarno didn't really talk about a few things we now know and talk about in the TMS world, like how all this thinking and anxiety and pain effects the nervous system. There are a few TMS therapists who focus on this angle, one is Alan Gordon. He has his own methods, but for thousands of years, humans have recognized the role of the nervous system and use both static and movement meditations to help the mind calm down. Mediation is one method, tai chi or qi gong are some others. Alan Gordon uses somatic tracking although not during accute pain (as we tend to hyperfocus on it), I also like ETF or tapping, there are short breathing sessions as well. All methods take time to really get longer term effect, but you can experiment with them and find something you enjoy. The key is that you need to do these without pressure upon yourself to do it "right" or be "perfect".
Dr. Sarno also writes about his Three Column method - which people use for journaling. The free Structured Educational Program here takes you though the process of learning to journal: https://www.tmswiki.org/ppd/Structured_Educational_Program (Structured Educational Program)
There are some other great techniques to learn, but to start with this is more than enough.

The last resource is Claire Weekes books. Any one is fine (Hope and Help for your Nerves is easy to find). She calls anxiety "Nervous Illness" and wrote small books giving explicit directions on taming anxiety and thought patterns with mindset. They are invaluable and have helped many people here.

Once you begin to do some of the work (slowly, just about an hour a day) and begin to get the nervous system under control, there are other techniques you can begin to experiment with. The key is to just slow down and remember this is all temporary.

Take a look around the forum,
Let us know what you think!
Decide where you'd like to start.
Take a deep breath and let it out very slowly. It's gonna be ok!