Struggling

Good morning,

the past weeks were not too bad - some flare ups and moving symptoms, but nothing really too bad.

But since last week I am really struggling. I got a hard spasm in the neck on the left side which makes it really hard for me to continue with exercise and sports and which is getting worse from day to day. The pain is also during the night and is preventing me from sleeping. The spasm is that hard that also my forearm, fingers and wrist are aching and from time to time they feel really weak and are also tingling. Sometimes also during exercising.

The difference to the weeks before is: No more moving symptoms - just one symptom, that feels really bad!

And now - welcome back in the circle of fear and preoccupation. I feel like always when I´m close to 100% belief TMS strikes back and makes me doubts.

Christian

 

Hi, Christian. It could be the doubts about TMS that is keeping your symptoms going. The subconscious is a tough one about demanding 100 percent
belief in TMS before it stops the pain. Are you journaling to discover if you have repressed emotions or are a perfectionist or "goodist" person, wanting everyone to like and approve of you?

If you only have one symptom, it could mean that you have discovered your TMS cause, or are close to it.

Have you done the Structured Educational Program, free in the subforum on this web site? It helps TMS sufferers to discover the emotional causes of their pain.

Someone else asked recently if TMS was like a religion, it requires or demands so much faith and belief. To me, it isn't a religion, but I thank God for sending me back pain two years ago which led me discovering Dr. Sarno, his TMS books, and this web site. Forest, its host, and others are so helpful to others with TMS. We're all part of a very caring community. Welcome to it. Stick with TMS knowledge and you'll be pain-free soon.

 

Hello Walt!

Thanks for your reply. Due to the fact that most other symptoms disappeared or decreased immensely, I also already thought that this could be the last fight or strike back of my TMS. But sometimes the confidence gets lost...then I need some support by others to keep me on the track.

And yes to all your questions. I am on the SEP - not daily due to my work - but I try to journal about the past and also about my personal traits. And - what from my point of view is the most important thing - about how I react to my environment day by day.

Christian

 

Christian,
I am right where you are. Getting better, then wammo back in the cycle. Mine is back pain or pretty much gluteous pain, that runs down the left leg. What tricks do others use? I have 2 therapists helping me but sometimes the information they give me conflicts. One says get angry with the pain the other says, go to the pain to understand it!! Not sure which to follow. Open to others advice. Lynn

 

Hi Christian. I know first hand how disappointing this can feel. I have learned to truly take one day at a time and when the pain strikes back out of the blue to take it as a signal that I need to pay attention to something or do a little more work. The important thing is to TRUST that it is ok, a normal part of the learning process and it won't always be like this. Try to focus as much as you possibly can on the fact that your pain did reduce tremendously. It is possible. It happened! The pain will go away again. The more confident and patient you can be with that, the better it will be. For some of us, it really can come and go for a time. Its not even necessarily that you are doing anything wrong, so try not to be hard on yourself. Maybe tomorrow, maybe some other time in the future, it will won't come back or if it does only as a little reminder or perhaps not at all. Sometimes I have noticed that when I reflect on how long it has been gone, or how amazing it is that I don't feel any pain, that is when it comes back! I don't understand it. But I don't feel scared or trapped by it anymore and you won't either soon.

 

Hi Walt, Anne! And Christian,
I appreciate all of these comments as I go through my recovery. The support is so helpful. Anne and Walt have said things that really remind me of how far i have come and how my mind keeps reeling me back in. But the reminders keep my strong and moving forward. Thanks all of being here and receptive to helping. Lynn

 

Good morning from Luxemburg!

Thanks to Walt, Lynn and Anne for your encouraging comments. The last weeks were an up and down - honestly speaking more up than down in general. The pain was moving around, appearing, disappearing - but it made me no fear. I got more and more confidence in the TMS diagnosis and went just on exercising and running. So far so good...

Since two weeks I´m back from my holidays in France. During the 10 hours drive home I experienced the first time some pain in my left foot. More or less in the joint of the toe. That increased and took my whole attention. I went on exercising and running, but the pain got worse. Meanwhile it is also the Achilles tendon that is hurting. But there is no swelling, no obvious inflammation. It is just hurting when I try to do sports.

Has anyone of you already experiences with toe pain / joint pain and Achilles tendons?

Perhaps an additional remark: During posting I discovered that my neck and shoulder pain has nearly completely disappeared...at the moment it is my foot that takes all my attention.

Christian