Stuggling with Outcome Independence

I've been doing generally well, with a strategy of very, very gradually increasing my activity so that I don't scare myself into an increase of TMS symptoms. But today I really needed to go clothes shopping, having been stuck in immobility for the better part of a year. So I did. I had a GREAT time. I was on my feet for hours, and didn't even notice the time until the end.

Then I started to worry about the time on my feet (much longer than anything previously). Then I also started to worry that I spent too much money, that maybe I didn't need all these clothes...etc, etc. Predictably, my legs and feet started to ache and I'm too wound up to sleep. Insomnia is one of the things I worry most about, and TMS knows this.

Now I'm struggling with still feeling good about having a fun shopping trip. I'm struggling with not caring that I'm awake and my legs aren't the greatest. Outcome independence is hard.

Cee

 

It was really helpful for me to write this post last night. I realized after writing it that I was most afraid and fearful of insomnia and not my leg pain. After I wrote this, I read a little bit of Steven Ozanich's The Great Pain Deception where he writes that to defeat the pain you must allow it and what you resist persists. So after going back to pain I decided to be OK with not sleeping...and then I fell asleep. If Steve read this, thanks for helping me out in the middle of the night!

Cee

 

Hi, Cee. It was great that you went shopping. But not so great to worry about what you spent.
You hadn't bought clothes for yourself for a long time, so you deserved to treat yourself.
Treating ourself is a great way to forget pain and heal from TMS, so long as you limit your spending.
Maybe set a spending amount and do not go over it.

Steve's suggestion for sleep is excellent. I've been having a lot of success lately by deep breathing
while in bed waiting for the sleep fairy. It has really been working for me, as well as telling myself
I will think or worry about pain or problems when I get up again in the morning.

I also count backwards from 50 or 100 to 1 while deep breathing. I soon fall asleep.
It also helps not to watch tv (certainly not the news) an hour or more before bedtime.
If my mind is overactive with anything it is hard for me to get to sleep.

Pleasant dreams!

 

Thanks Walt! The money woes are taken care of because half the stuff I bought needs to go back. Win-win...

Pleasant dreams to you too!

Cee