Day 3 Symptom Imperative At Work?

Day 3 of the Structure Educational Program and approximately month 3 of Journaling. Since I've began journaling it has been a roller coaster ride. Initially when I started the journaling process, I was hit with pretty severe anxiety and depression. Bowel problems began shortly thereafter. I was able to begin seeing these symptoms as equivalents. My mind is still trying to override my ability to recognize these symptoms for what they are, but I'm trying. I am also trying really hard to do the self-talk with my mind. My pain has not lessened much - if at all - but what I have noticed is that when anxiety hits hard, pain is considerably reduced. It's amazing how I am able to recognize the pain for what it is and "talk to it" I sat at my desk at work one day as usual and my left foot began to hurt so bad that it felt like the underside of it was hit by a hammer. I started walking on it, then I started running on it, then I laughed at it, then it went away. Pretty neat! Lately I have had really bad bouts of reflux. literally I feel like I am being hit by every symptom my body can throw at me. But what is interesting, is that I have a sense of calm about it. I think I know what it is. I would like the pain to go away, I would also like the symptoms to go away, but I am learning that they are my minds attempt to "protect" me. It has been suggested by some kind people on the forum to read threads dealing with outcome independence. Not worrying about how long it takes for symptoms to go away. Also, that the goal is not to be pain free, but to get to the root cause of what is causing symptoms. This is what I am trying to do, and I have really appreciated all of the encouragement. It is a great group here...

Murphy

 

Just wanted to say that I am having massive anxiety as well as all kinds of new symptoms that want to crop up. My headaches have been better, to a certain degree, but this anxiety is really throwing me for a loop. It is hard not to feel like there is really something else wrong with me. I think I would rather have the physical pain than the anxiety.

 

The anxiety for me seems to be work related. I tend to really have problems with it when stresses at work come up. I tend to take my job/profession very seriously and when I am not feeling as though I am measuring up (especially when co workers might tell me so) I go into a tremendous funk. I feel as though the world is coming to an end. This brings about a lot anxiety and depression. This is something I am really working on. In my reading (and re reading) Dr. Sarno's books, he believes a lot of what drives perfectionism and the drive to be "the best" is the inferiority that all of us have inside of us. Some (like myself) evidently have a lot more than others. I struggle with this and believe it is at the root of a significant amount of my symptoms.

Good luck with your struggles, I hope you find some relief soon.

 

Yes! I heard Dr. Sarno say in one of his interviews that the drive to be perfect stems from feelings of insecurity and the need to be liked. We feel we have to prove ourselves constantly. I know I definitely am guilty of this. I don't work outside the home, but still take my job as a stay-at-home mom/homemaker very seriously. I put a tremendous amount of pressure on myself. Dr. Sarno also says that it is more the pressures we put on ourselves that causes TMS, rather than pressures put on us by others.

Good luck to you, too, Murphy.

 

Hey honeybear,

I just wanted to say as a man that you are right. Give youself more credit! Being a mom is hard, although it comes with different challenges, you doing the best you can. Also I've spoken to my sister about how she's trying to be super mom and I tell her that's complete bullshit. So much pressure on yourself is just unfair to you and your kids. Easier said then done but I commend you for being a mom