Taking a leap

Hi all, it's been a while.
Haven't posted but i did check the forum regularly and found inspiration and solace in the posts.
Now on to my stuff. I made a lot of improvements, am currently (finally) writing my bachelor's and started strength training (if you would have told me this a year ago, i would have laughed in your face).
Unfortunatly, the symptoms still persists, but i'm trying to do as Claire Weekes said and just let them be there.

Which brings me to a huge step i'm now taking.
See, i'm still super anxious, especially being too far from home, in unfamiliar situations, on public transport etc. Now i got the spontaneous opportunity to fly to sicily with a friend in three (3!!!!) days and am actually going through with it!!! I just bought the tickets and i'm super panicky already since vacations just aren't a thing i was able to do for so long, they are still very taxing on me and honestly i am in a very stressful time right now but i've had enough of the pitiful story i still have of myself in my head. The brain is able to change and language is a tool of creating our reality, so i'm trying to take control of my narrative and just let everything come as it is without overthinking and going crazy about everything that's likely to happen. Am i going to fall unconcious on the plane? What if i get a migraine? What if i get a stomach ache so bad, i am bedbound for the whole week?? All things that happend, and quite freuqently at that, but i'm tired of being in my cage.

I don't know what the point of this post is, but i just got the urge to share this with you all because even though i have not interacted much with you, you still gave me a lot of hope and strength, as well as guidance.
I feel like i am still far away from being able to say i am completly symptom-free, but my mindset is slowly changing, even though i often don't see it, me actually doing this trip is a huge indicator of that.

 

Good for you!!!!!!! I have massive travel anxiety. I really know how brave you are right now. And guess what? You won’t regret it. Don’t play the what-if game. Just say, “I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.” You’ll handle everything as it comes along. And once you’re there, you’ll have a memory of a lifetime.

If you want some great support, get this audiobook by Claire Weekes, called Freedom From Nervous Suffering. She walks you through leaving the house and going on trips, step by step. Chapters 2 and 3. You could listen on the plane!

 

Love this simple line! Keep the focus on you.

This one too. And move forward.

If you ever write a book, make sure to include this line. This is powerful and such a great way to put this.

I am very happy for you. I can really relate because I was in very similar situations. It was my own version of it. Different activities that I was panicky about and couldn't really do comfortably for a long time. But, the same really.

 

Sicily? Wow! You will not regret this. What a great next step. Honestly who cares if it’s spontaneous? Go with the flow. This is the time to show your brain who’s boss. I bet you will have a really amazing time.

 

@JanAtheCPA
Thank you so much for your message!
You bring up a great point, one i didn't realize i still had an issue with, about doing it without perfection. Seems like my perfectionism got to me again, since, on introspection, that is a reoccuring theme still prevalent in my recovery.
Thanks for bringing that up and reminding me to celebrate the progress i'm making, even if it's imperfect.

 

Thanks Diana!
I love the idea of focusing on the moment and trusting that everything will fall into place, without trying to plan for every possibility — I’m going to try and keep that mindset!
And I already have the audiobooks locked and loaded for the flight I used them while trying to get comfortable leaving my home for extended periods of time and my agoraphobia.

 

Would you believe that i overthought leaving the "now on to my stuff" line in, because it seemed so self-centered?

Thank you so much for being happy for me!
I really love the sense of community here and how sharing our experiences makes us feel understood, since so many of us can relate to each other's struggles. And kudos to you for being brave and overcoming your own challenges too!

 

Thank you!
It's really challenging to not think abozt the downsides but i've been talking for months how i wanted to go to italy and now this opportunity dropped in my lap. It's like the universe listened!

 

Yes! I love this mindset and am so happy for you and your new experience. Enjoy!

 

@sleepyjay
Please report back and tell us about your trip! we would love to hear! I’m glad you’ve got Claire Weekes locked and loaded!