Techniques I/you use to counteract worrying

I've been a worrier since I can remember. Worrying about everything, all the time. Some days I find myself so distracted by worries, unfounded fears, and irrational anxieties. And that's the thing- 99% of it is irrational and unnecessary, but when I'm in it I rarely am able to see the ridiculousness of it all. For example, I'm worrying people I love are going to get into car accidents, worrying I'm making a mistake with my career, worrying so and so is going to not like me, worrying I won't have time to do laundry etc. Oftentimes it's super insignificant stuff that I become obsessed with and end up spending so much time and energy on I can't think about anything else. It's exhausting. I've found worry begets worry begets worry to infinity.

I grew up with always anxious, worried parents and I'm working very hard to change these habits and patterns that have been instilled in me since I was little, plus my own anxiety habits that have been formed and fostered as a result of my own events/traumas. I'm finding that my worry ignites my TMS like nothing else and although I am doing so much everyday to calm my mindbody, I feel like I haven't quite yet been able to crack the worry nut (that I am) yet. I'm hopeful though- I choose to believe this doesn't have to be my forever. I'm making a list of techniques I've found to lessen the worry rabbit holes I tend to fall down into and I'm hoping you'll add to it if you've found anything that works for you I haven't thought of so I can try it. Thanks in advance fellow worriers!

-meditation
-other mindfulness practices like gratitude journal etc.
-exercise
-journaling
-spend time in relaxing environments (nature!)
-listening to calming music
-getting better at distinguishing irrational anxious thoughts from rational justified thought of concern
-don't spend too much time with other worriers
-not guilting or shaming self if you start to feel worried
-talk therapy
-not taking on other people's own worries
-limiting news
-limiting social media
-talk about worries with a trusted someone who doesn't worry a lot (for perspective!)

 

I would highly recommend reading 'How to Stop Worrying and Start Living' by Dale Carnegie. A lot of the techniques in the book have helped me stop my worrywart-ing. (The book is of its day - it was written in 1948 - with references to 'housewives' etc...but if you can ignore that sort of stuff and aren't offended by some references to religion/prayer, so many of the suggestions in the book are profound and actually far ahead of its time.)

Doing the qigong in this book to reduce anxiety has also helped me: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Qigong-Wor...1542374688&sr=8-1&keywords=qigong+for+anxiety

Yoga nidra is wonderfully relaxing and anti-worrywart-ing (it doesn't require any movement) https://www.amazon.co.uk/Daring-Rest-Reclaim-Power-Meditation/dp/1622039092/ref=sr_1_8?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1542374882&sr=1-8&keywords=yoga+nidra ...And here are the free to use mp3s that go with the book https://www.soundstrue.com/store/daringtorest/yoganidrameditations (Sounds True - Daring to Rest: Yoga Nidra)

- asking myself re the problem that I'm worrying about: 'Will this really matter in x number of days, weeks, months, years from now?'...the answer is usually, no, it won't matter much, if at all!

- remembering the Zen Buddhist parable of the horse:

 

Hi Ellie,

Bloodmoon has given you some excellent ideas.

Steve Ozanich suggested in his book, The Great Pain Deception, to ask yourself, So what? when you are asking yourself, What if? This takes me out of that hamster wheel loop and allows me to change my thinking. As you said, usually the worries are irrational, playing it out reminds me it isn't such a big deal.

Lizzy

 

Look up ACE1's tips (the complete version, not the summary). They really go into overcoming negative mind power (eg. worrying) on a moment to moment basis. Healthy affirmations are used to crowd out negative affirmations (eg. worrying ), in a process of reclaiming mental territory.
I continue to be surprised how well it works.

 

BloodMoon thank you, I now have added to my list of books to check out. And you're right, it's all about stepping back for that perspective- although that's the tricky part for me. I guess it's just one of those things you practice practice practice asking yourself "will this matter x days from now?" until it becomes ingrained. LOVE the parable!

 

I had someone recommend to me recently to play it out just like you say and even go a step further and write down all the possible outcomes of a given scenario that's causing worry. In my journaling, getting it out of my head and onto paper tends to pull me out of my own hamster wheel loop and help me gain some perspective so I'm sure it would do the same in this case. Thank you- I need to check out that book!!

 

Ace1's tips are great! I'm adding to my list. You're right, affirmations are so important to drown out the negative stuff, I've written them before.. and it is surprising how light one feels after affirmations. I need to practice writing them again. I felt they were really hard to come up with when I've tried to write them in the past, but I'm sure just like anything else you get better at it the more you do it. It took time to build negative habits and thinking and it takes time to break those and form new positive habits and thinking. Thank you for the resources at the bottom too!

 

And in addition to the awesome tips above (thanks everyone because I needed them too), when I find myself worrying I play the song by Bobby McFerrin!


Bobby McFerrin - Don't Worry Be Happy:
Here's a little song I wrote
You might want to sing it note for note
Don't worry, be happy
In every life we have some trouble
But when you worry you make it double
Don't worry, be happy
Don't worry, be happy now

 

Hahaha definitely made me laugh