Day 16 Telling others about TMS

Yes, I missed a day, yesterday, but I was out with a friend I hadn't seen in a long time, and I was telling him about TMS. I've been telling people. I have a sense of people I see often or know well and what they might be willing to hear. For my Course in Miracles friends, it makes perfect sense. For my Way of Mastery friends, it's making use of radical (self) inquiry, looking at deep-seated, repressed and suppressed emotions and events in our lives. I'm not entering into the "I have a bad back" conversations anymore. And I'm a lot less worried about what others think of me than I used to be.

My step-daughter is just starting out in a counselling program, and I plan to buy a book or two for her to read. And I've shared with the ladies at my health food shop who helped me most recently when I thought had some arthritis diagnoses. I'm going to buy a book for them to have at the shop, as well.

I'm sharing where it is welcome. But not feeling any pressure either way. (I'm a reforming rescuer and helper/fixer.)

 

Very powerful to drop this identity!! Not easy for most of us.

 

And a HUUUUGE contributor to our symptom imperative. If only I could change to being the cold hearted SOB I was when I didn't have pain....

Sarno pointed out that if we needed to change this his cure rate would be zero. We just need to be aware of it..... said the guy who feeds feral cats...

 

Always good to remember that awareness is the key!!

 

I truly would never have called myself a perfectionist....I'm not good enough, picky enough, perfect enough!! Haha. And now I'm really facing all these personality traits, and all that I demand of myself. And I'm stepping away from some big demands of my time and money, and I'm finding it really challenging. This morning, I wrote a very honest message to someone and sent it, and then saw that I have a message from someone else I was honest with last week who is asking again, even though I said I can't.....and I've got pains all over the place! And emotions running over (tears). I've journalled and sat with it all and I'm ok. I know I'm ok, but I'm still a bit shocked by it all. I think there is a reservoir of rage, and a reservoir of guilt and I've most likely filled up both.