Day 16 Telling people about MBS

There are certain people you tell and certain people you don't, I guess. Or maybe you tell everybody? Why does it feel shameful to discuss this thing?

I think it comes from continuing doubts within me.

Yoga again last night and the best night of sleep I've had since January. Many of my TMS symptoms have quieted significantly since the exception I had a few days ago. Still strain and headache from waiting on new glasses but it's been interesting to see the other tension and pains surrounding that dissipate. Of course someone who has needed bifocals for 9 months and doesn't have them yet will have headaches. But as TMS goes on the run, the headache and other related "eye" pains have diminished so much...it's like they've shrunk to the actual headache from needing new glasses.

(Although, to be fair, that headache depends on other things, too...sometimes I have *only* the blurring in and out from presbyopia but not so much the headache, when I'm really relaxed...so that headache could still be all or in part TMS. I wonder.)

Of course lots and lots of TMS sensations still going strong but it's been so exciting to see real improvement. I continue to have to apply techniques throughout the day as I experience fear about the new glasses not working or other related things. Yesterday's SEP and @Baseball65 's comments gave me the idea to respond to wooshes of fear with expressing anger (interiorly). So, *woosh of fear that the new glasses will be awful* ---> me immediately imagining pushing the optometrist who got me into this multi-month mess off a cliff and hollering with glee and usually saying something like "you can't get me anymore!" Yep, sounds awful. Oh, well.

Of course, I would never hurt anyone. Just the processing.

That has been really interesting and helpful.

I want to encourage people who are brand new here. I still have a ways to go but it is so amazing to be seeing some real progress. Hang in there, if you're not seeing any glimmers yet.

 

Can I just add -- WHAT THE HELL with this optometrist. Who sees a 41-year-old who is having eye strain while reading and says, "I know! I think you need glasses that will make your eyes cross and $16K of vision therapy over the coming year and remember, try not to commit suicide while you wait!" instead of, "Hm, I will check her near focus instead of just distance and prescribe reading glasses because this is the normal cause of eyestrain in the early 40's and she's an editor who spends hours each day reading."

 

Ha! Love this! Made me laugh. It so cool you have this really working, Sarno-style. You’re getting it!

SO GREAT! Your efforts are paying off!

He’s a monster!

 

Awesome @dlane2530! Keep going!

And, thanks for the encouragement! It is definitely helpful knowing there is some hope despite seeing any glimmers!

 

I have so much rage toward this guy. But he's also a stand-in for some other men I have rage toward. Kinda like @Baseball65 's one guy he focused/s on.

 

You *will* get your own glimmers, if you don't give up.