Tendonitis and attack of the jedi knights

Liebe Leute, ich hatte im Juni eine Leistenbruch-Operation. Es war auch sehr stressig für mein Nervensystem. Die 9 Operationen in meinem Leben. An den Schambeinschmerzen hat sich nichts geändert. Ich litt wochenlang unter den schlimmsten Zwängen wie dem Aneinanderpressen meiner Beine und hatte schreckliche Rückfälle. Ich habe mit Hypnose begonnen. 5 Jahre Psychotherapie hatten mich erneut traumatisiert. Wie bei einem Drogenentzug habe ich es überprüfen lassen. Ich begann wieder mit leichtem Training und stellte mich meinen schlimmsten Ängsten. Ich hatte seit meiner Jugend immer eine Sehnenentzündung. Ich brauche nur etwas am PC zu tippen und los geht’s … Seit Juni habe ich durch das Training eine Entzündung in beiden Quadrizepssehnen bekommen. am Ellenbogen und an der Adduktorensehne. Laut Aussage des Arztes habe ich brüchige Sehnen oder eine mysteriöse rheumatische Erkrankung und sollte das Zentrum für seltene Krankheiten aufsuchen. Diesmal hat nichts geholfen. keine Stoßwellen etc. Ich kenne diesen Punkt. zu gut. weil ich es alle paar Monate zurück habe. völlige Immobilität und massive Schmerzen. sogar die Sitzbeingelenks- und Rippenarthritis flammte wieder auf. und wieder nur Panikattacken und Angst. Dann wurde mein rechtes Bein schwach und ich hatte immer noch Angst vor Frau. Mein Arzt wollte mir wieder Psychopharmaka geben. Ich war schon oft an diesem Punkt. so oft. Vielleicht kennt jemand diese Verzweiflung. Ich nehme seit heute ein paar Schmerzmittel, um mich etwas zu beruhigen. Ich komme immer wieder zu tms zurück. Ich habe das Gefühl, dass ein Feind in mir arbeitet, um mich endlich frei bewegen zu können. Aber trotz aller Untersuchungen habe ich Angst, dass ich so etwas wie Rheuma habe. Ich habe das Handbuch von Dr. Schubiner gelesen. alles ins Deutsche übersetzt. Ich spüre die Unsicherheit und die Ohnmacht ... die Wut, den Hass, die Frustration. aber der Schmerz und die Ängste gewinnen immer die Oberhand. Ich möchte nicht aufgeben. Aber ich weiß nicht, wie ich meinen Alltag normal gestalten soll. Ich kann mich nicht einmal hinsetzen, die Sehnen sind so entzündet. Ich arbeite hart an mir, aber es wird immer schlimmer als besser. War schon einmal jemand an diesem Punkt? Wo er dachte, ich sei der Einzige, der nicht geheilt wurde? Mir fehlt so langsam ein kleiner Sieg. eine Motivation. Vertrauen. Wenn Sie meine Geschichte lesen, werden Sie wissen, woher ich komme ... Ich habe viel erreicht und bin wieder da, wo ich angefangen habe. Seit fünf Jahren ist es schlimm, aber die letzten zwei Jahre war es eine Katastrophe. Ich stehe auf der Kippe. Wenn ich noch einmal Lyrica nehme, fange ich irgendwann wieder von vorne an. Steve O hat einmal gesagt, dass diejenigen, die Zwänge haben, am schlimmsten heilen ... und manche wollen nicht heilen ... Aber das kontrolliert meine. Wie kann man durch Training solche Entzündungen bekommen, die nicht heilen? Manchmal möchte ich mich aus Angst vor Schambeinschmerzen überhaupt nicht bewegen. Ideen?

 

Sorry for the repetition at the end. Something didn't work and sorry for my English

 

I had a hernia operation in June. It was also very stressful for my nervous system. The nine surgeries in my life. Nothing's changed about the pubic pain. I suffered for weeks under the worst constraints such as pressing my legs together and had terrible relapses. I started hypnosis. Five years of psychotherapy had traumatized me again. Like a drug withdrawal, I had it checked out. I started again with light training and faced my worst fears. I've always had tendonitis since I was young. I just need to type something on the PC and let’s go . . . Since June I got an inflammation in both quadriceps tendons due to training. on the elbow and on the adductor tendon. According to the doctor, I have brittle tendons or a mysterious rheumatic disease and should go to the Rare Disease Center. Nothing helped this time. no shock waves etc. I know this point. Too good. Because I get it back every few months. complete immobility and massive pain. even the pelvic and rib arthritis flared up again. and again just panic attacks and fear. Then my right leg became weak and I was still afraid of woman. My doctor tried to give me psychotropic drugs again. I've been to this point many times. so many times. Maybe someone knows this desperation. I've been taking some painkillers since today to calm me down. I keep coming back to tms. I feel like an enemy is working inside of me to finally be able to move freely. But in spite of all the tests, I'm afraid I have something like rheumatism. I read Dr. Schubiner's manual. everything translated into German. I feel the insecurity and the powerlessness . . . the anger, the hatred, the frustration. But the pain and the fears always prevail. I don't want to give up. But I don't know how to make my daily routine normal. I can't even sit down, my tendons are so inflamed. I work hard on myself, but it always gets worse than better. Has anyone ever been to this point before? Where he thought I was the only one who wasn't cured? I'm so short of a small victory. a motivation. Trust. If you read my story, you'll know where I come from. . . I've accomplished a lot and I'm back where I started. It's been bad for five years, but the last two years it's been a disaster. I'm on the rocks. If I take Lyrica again, I'll start again at some point. Steve O once said that those who have compulsions heal the worst . . . and some do not want to heal . . . But it controls mine. How can you get such inflammations through training that don't heal? Sometimes I don't want to move at all for fear of pubic pain. Ideas?

 

@Kristina1987
Dr. Schubiner and most TMS doctors say ALL tendonitis is TMS due to the holding of physical tension. It is anxiety. Like most people say, you should get checked out by a Dr. but know that most Dr.'s of course do not understand that anxiety can cause all of these physical sensations.
When you read Dr. Schubiner's book, did you do all of the work, slowly and thoughfully? Do you now take this work and put it into your everyday life?
Sometimes "working hard on myself" is too much. It is far to much pressure, it feeds into the perfection - must heal now and must heal 100% must be normal to make everyone elses life so much easier... this is absolutely WHY you have TMS. This kind of thought pattern. It is all the internal stress you are making.
Get it out of your head that compulsion controls you. That you don't "want to heal" (that goes back to trying way to hard to force yourself to heal and feeling like you are not enough). This is all TEMPORARY. You can heal. Do not let Steve O or anyone else including your pain, boss you around. That is letting everything and everyone else steal your power. It is not an easy thing to learn, when your mind is so used to being in control. One of the best things I heard recently was by an neuroscientist who said your brain is merely an organ, like your heart, or your liver. DO NOT LET IT TAKE CONTROL. You, your essence and your human energy are YOU and can 100% be in control. How do you learn these things? Dr. Schubiner has meditations for free with his book, but only in English. You can learn to meditate to just silence, or to music. I like little headphones and music or guided voice.
I also started to use EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and it is working amazingly well, and it is FREE on youtube. The most important thing to learn is that you make the statements true for you. If it says "I FEEL NO PAIN" but you feel pain, instead change the words you say to be "I FEEL PAIN AND AM TRYING TO ACCEPT IT IS HERE TEMPORARILY", that kind of thing. If meditation is hard for you, this is a good step towards being more tolerant of it. Here are some in German - this one is for pain:
Here is one for fear and worry: here is another for anxiety, fears, panics: there are many, many more.
Here is a German TMS coach who has many free talks on youtube, and some meditations. I don't know what he's saying, but it may be of help and reassurance that you can learn to overcome your symptoms with time and re-training. https://www.muskel-und-gelenkschmerzen.de/so-loest-du-jeden-schmerz/?utm_campaign=YT-So-l%C3%B6st-Du-jeden-Schmerz&utm_source=Youtube&utm_medium=Social (Schmerzen loslassen - So löst Du jeden Schmerz)

You mention you have had tension since a child, so you must give this method time. See little tiny improvements - maybe only one a week, one a month but it is an improvement!

 

Thank you very much for this more than detailed answer. I get a lot of knowledge from it. On the one hand, it wasn't clear to me from the information from this forum that tendonitis is tms. I read contradictions. They especially appear for me after training. as if the tendons are barely resilient. Of course I had everything checked. The doctor then said yes it looked like rheumatism, but it wasn't. Therefore I should get checked for a rare disease.
again.
I've been doing these tapping techniques with a therapist for around 5 weeks. I had great success. When the part of me noticed that it was finally getting to him and we suggested to my subconscious I'm sure everyone was ignited. The terrible pubic bone pain is back (I can barely overcome the deathly fear of him) as are the compulsions and fears. My system boots up as much as possible. it's incredible.

I try not to let anything dictate me, but I have a feeling Steve O is right in saying that people with compulsions heal very poorly. I admit I did it quickly. Pain, fear and tens of thousands of euros and therapies for 30 years. I'm far away from the life I want to lead. I also find it difficult to calm the brain because I don't find life safe.
How do others live this normal everyday life? others continue training. For example, I can no longer bend my knees. no chance. Training makes it worse and worse. so I thought structurally.
I know the therapist too, thank you. he also works a lot with trigger points. thank you for all the information from the bottom of my heart.

 

Sorry @Cactusflower

 

@Kristina1987
The muscle tightness after working out is tension. You hold your emotions and stress within your body so when you work out a bit you probably feel it more.
What happens to you?
Tightness? Anything else? Did you die? No! This is what you tell your brain. I am FINE. Pain is just a message that I need to look within myself and to stop always focus on my body.
Steve O is not the God of TMS. Not everything he says applies to you. Use your ETF skills to change how you think about that. Instead of I will not heal, I will heal, I will take control. Your compulsions are not you. They are just thoughts. Say hello to them “oh, hi! This is the thought again. Bye” wave goodbye. Over and over and over again. You accept the thought comes but you don’t believe the thought. Look at the many other thoughts your brain thinks but you do not believe, (or imagine this). Example: one day you wake up and the sky is grey. You think: it is raining. But you remember looking at the weather for cast and it says no rain.. so you still go for your walk. You do not believe it will rain. This is the same with all thoughts. The repetitive doom thoughts are so common with TMS - but you can change your thought pattern. It may not be 100% but try for maybe 20% change. Look for the good. Seek it out and allow yourself to feel the good.
Your brain may feel everything is not safe now, but this is exactly what TMS work is doing, slowly changing and challenging your mind at what safe really is. But if you constantly stay with a defeatist attitude, how can you change? There has to be a start. Sometimes you take steps backwards. You feel down and bad for awhile, but you learn to pick yourself up and continue the work again.
You can do EFT everyday at home on your own.
Recently Dr. Schecter had a talk about pelvic pain. He said almost all of his pelvic pain patients merely carried their emotional tension in their pelvis. It was all TMS. As for this tms specialist who likes triggerpoint work -that never works for me. I like to do a body scan meditation instead, and learn to relax my body with my mind and my breath. It’s free!

 

@Cactusflower
That sounds encouraging and like a little more self-empowerment. I have one last question. I can understand the muscle tension after training. I'm not afraid of that. But the tendons have been inflamed for years whenever I do any training. just never as bad as it is now. The doctor says no more training and a break. I know training always makes it worse. But a little sport brought me joy again. Many athletes overload themselves. But most of the time the inflammation heals. not for me. unfortunately. Living my life with exercise regardless of the symptoms is currently not possible. I'm doing my best not to lose heart..that almost happened the last few days. Thanks

 

@Cactusflower
Today I decided to calm my body and mind for a while with an anti-anxiety medication, as I need to reduce the total pain and fear in order to be able to act for my daughter again. I didn't make it easy for myself because I wanted to do it ^perfectly^ without medication. I couldn't tolerate pregabalin at the time and had a terrible withdrawal. I'll give another medication another chance and continue with the main work. But try to be a little friendlier and not see any tms gods who do everything better than me.

 

@Kristina1987
I love this attitude!
I love that you said it will be for today.
I like that you took care of yourself first knowing that you can only be there for your daughter fully, if you first take care of yourself fully.
I also like that you will try and not let anyone dictate the outcome of your wellness journey but yourself. Remember the thought loops you find yourself in are a symptom of TMS - they can change once you recognize they are only thoughts and not reality. This is taking control. This is taking back your own power. Sometimes we let it slip away for a little while, but it is always there to take again.