The list goes on and on

So historically I've had GERD, IBS, hamstring tendinopathy, migraines, anxiety, lumbar disc issues. Now we've added the back pain (attributed to my neck bulging discs and thoracic herniated disc) that wraps around to BOTH sides of my abdomen now, the hamstring pain has come back after mostly resolving, and now both shins hurt. To this point I've still been training for a half marathon and lifting but my brain just isn't getting it.

Just a mini update on me because I've commented on a couple of posts and been talking to my buddy Baseball again.

 

Do you enjoy the hobbies you engage in Rusty, the running and lifting?

 

Terrible list! And amazing you still train through it all! Shows how strong you are.

 

You said "brain not getting it" - do you mean that you are still having symptoms and new diagnoses?

Well done on still exercising! This stuff takes time - just read an inspiring post (could be worth checking out): https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/see-the-habits-and-allow-time-to-pass.30189/

 

That and it doesn't seem to figure out what I'm doing is safe for my body.

 

I do. I've gone overboard in the past, ended up with RED-S and pushed way too hard, but I've found an eating and exercise balance now. Unfortunately my brain seems to still think I'm in overdrive like before instead of realizing I have slowed down.

 

I probably could be considered a chronic-exerciser too and I'm having issues as well, almost entirely with my running. There is something psychological going on that is causing anxiety and angst around my running, mostly centered on severely-declining performance - and brought on by some physical limitations in the last 18-24mo which I posted about in another thread, but I'm not going to rehash because I am firmly convinced (at least in my conscious mind) are mind-body related. The problem is they persist, and then they feed into the anxiety/angst around my performance and it's a vicious cycle.

I can't seem to get to the bottom of it either so I can relate 100%.

 

Now having said that, one method I've been trying lately is what I'm calling a "model" for addressing these issues when they come up. It's effectively journaling but with guidance or a "model" for the writing. I ask myself these questions:

"What is it?" This is where I define the problem in as much detail as I can.

"What does TMS brain think it is?" This is where I describe all the fears of what it could be, such as obscure structural or neurological "problems" - in other words what TMS wants me to think and obsess over - this part is key, because I get to explore some of my fears by diving into them.

"What do *I* think it is?" - See what I did there? "I" am my conscious mind, and I am in control (as Sarno says in his 12 daily reminders). This is where I defined what could be happening from a mind-body perspective. Again, the more detail the better.

"What happens if I can't fix it?" - This is the final question, and basically helps me define the absolute worst-case scenario. This gives me context and usually allows me to minimize the issue because the truth is that most of our TMS symptoms are not life-shattering.

 

This is a nice set of prompts, @Mr Hip Guy . Thank you for sharing.

 

Remember your evidence list too. For your current symptoms, make sure you note if they come and go, or if they move around at all. Both are strong evidence of TMS, and if so, be sure to call them on their total BS.

 

Yes, evidence lists are so important. Us tmsers tend to have short memories for good stuff and long memories for bad stuff.

 

I recently had a positive test for COVID (9 days ago - on 8/11). I felt pretty rough for 2-3 days but I looked back at my diary and when I had it in 2021 it was like a mild cold and I was back to training in 3-5 days (cycling in 3, running in 5). So last week I followed the same protocol and did some light stuff on Thurs/Fri and then ran on Saturday. I purposely went very easy and took walk breaks to keep my HR in check. Recovered fine the rest of the day and thought nothing of it. The following day I tried to get back to a long run (i'm in marathon training) with 10m and that was absolutely a big mistake. It was a horrible run, I felt terrible, but I muscled through and finished it. I was wrecked the rest of the day. Terrible calf cramps - I even had a HAND cramp - it was shocking how bad off I was. Since that time I have not felt good, have had some mild sore-throat, felt a little fatigue and have had 1 more terrible attempt at a run. So I'm a little concerned.

Here goes with my model:

What is it? - See above, I feel bad and tired and I also feel the need to resume my training since my marathon is just 4-5 weeks away.

What does my TMS brain think? - It is googling "long covid" and "exercise intolerance" and all of these things that I have long considered (and told lots of people) were all TMS manifestations.

What do *I* think? - I think it's TMS, but my symptoms are persisting and I am reminding myself that COVID doesn't necessarily fully resolve in 9 days - it can legitimately take 2 weeks or more. I think this is way too close to my recent issues with running and exercise and is therefore too convenient a spot for my TMS mind to attack and sow doubt and create mischief.

What's the worst case scenario? - I do not finish my marathon in a month, which would be a first DNF for me ever. I'd still be on vacation with my wife and friends and perfectly able to enjoy the rest of the trip. It's obviously not that bad of a worst case. Otherwise and outside of the actual marathon, "long covid" could take hold and I would have to amend my lifestyle around fitness and exercise. I may have to quit running and just do other stuff. Again, not that bad.

 

I'm just getting so much more frustrated lately. There isn't any coming and going, it's just always there. The fact that this progressed from shoulder pain last year to pain all down my right back and wrapping around to my abdomen is so confusing to me. Obviously doc says it is related to a herniated disc in my mid back or the bulging discs in my neck but none of it makes sense to me. Just can't see to get anywhere. The shins obviously concern me too, I'm monitoring them because urgent care only did pointless x-rays that are meaningless. Be nice if docs didn't waste time with the wrong tests.

Thanks for sharing your long COVID write up model, @Mr Hip Guy. That helps if I end up trying your layout.

 

So this is where Baseball65 would say "get back to activity." To heck with the pain, get back to your running/lifting and see what happens. How does the pain change? More data for your evidence lists.

 

I never left running and lifting. Been doing it all along. Still no changes, unfortunately.

 

@Mr Hip Guy
I got my current symptoms following Covid. I think your lizard brains latches on to anything that frightens you. I was afraid of getting Covid. It sounds like you’re afraid of messing up your marathon. If I could go back, I would have tried much harder to kick the symptoms to the curb when they first arrived, before they settled in.

 

Does anything ever affect your symptoms? Just one example, I have noticed with previous TMS symptoms that social settings could make a difference. In other words, if out with friends that I don't normally see (for example, not your family that you see all the time), or in social settings (especially with drinking alcohol) - it would make a difference in how I felt. Usually that meant the symptoms would either vanish or greatly reduce. That's another good one for an evidence list.

 

Yep, work for sure. Especially the days when we have to come into the office (two a week). We were WFH for 5+ years and then they suddenly decided we had to come back 2 days a week. My job is pretty miserable but something I have to keep because I'm the breadwinner, unfortunately.

 

Okay so I'm assuming what you're saying is that work exacerbates, or makes worse, the symptoms. Are there any other things that alleviate it?

Doesn't matter if not, you're clearly seeing an effect of something non-physical that makes the symptoms worse. That should go on your evidence sheet.

 

Yes, I get more pain when I'm thinking about or actually at work. Lot of stress there with managing client accounts. I haven't really found anything that alleviates it unfortunately, even conventional methods used temporarily like ice, heat, pain meds, etc.

I have a nice evidence list I created after starting to read Unlearn Your Pain, work is on the list of non-physical factors. I posted it here some time back, not much has changed except symptoms have gotten more widespread:
https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/evidence-sheet.29432/

I'm definitely back and forth on all of this but trying to keep moving.