Day 4 The most disheartening thing a doctor has said to me.

I have a few... as I have seen a ton of doctors.

From a surgeon - I was told something along these lines (I don't have arthritis or anything structural). I went in hoping sooooo badly they would find a herniated disk and they would say "We found the issue! A surgery will fix it!" But instead they said there was nothing operable and when I asked if my pain would ever go away they casually said it may never go away. And I broke down and cried. I was only 20 years old and had a ton of plans and hopes for my future that all got killed in that moment.

From a physical therapist- She told me the cause of my pain was due to a disc herniation, and maybe it was so small it didn't show up on an x-ray (I had x-rays prior to going that showed nothing). I asked if the pain would likely go away and I'd be able to hike again. She said it may never go away. Pretty sure after I left there I called my parents and cried in the car.

From a chiropractor- They took x-rays and he said he saw the smallest disc herniation (this is after MRIs and X-rays from doctors) and since I had been in minor fender benders that was likely the cause. And that the tiny herniation was what was causing my pain. I believed it. I saw the xrays and saw nothing on them but he swore he saw the tiniest herniation. I believed him too. My dad ended up writing him a letter because he said that that chiropractor should not have been scaring me telling me a disc herniation was causing my pain after multiple doctors said that there was nothing there.

From another physical therapist- He actually turned me away after trying to treat me with multiple methods. He said he had only had to turn away 1 or 2 other people who did not get better from his treatments. This made me feel like I would never get better, like I'm some special case that can never be fixed, even by the best doctors, physical therapists, chiropractors. Though I do appreciate him being honest that he couldn't do much more for me.

Rant note to all those doctors (just writing out my pent up feelings): How dare you just be so "matter of factly" about stuff, how are you all so blind to the idea that pain can be caused due to psychosomatic reasons?!?!?!?!?Especially in my case, you SEE I have nothing physically wrong with me YET you STILL come up with things that are wrong. Is your ego that big? Why not just admit "I don't know what is causing your pain". I've had doctors tell me, "oh its your hip alignment, herniated disc (even though there aren't any on the x-rays), its the way you walk" all sorts of stuff. If you don't really know whats wrong, don't make assumptions and suggest treatments, and don't be discouraging and negative. Patients take what you say to heart. YOU RUIN LIVES WITH YOUR IGNORANCE. EDUCATE YOURSELVES. BE OPEN TO NEW SCIENCE.

 

Yes! Set the rage free in journaling and writing and feel it!

And this is just your feelings about doctors, what about the repressed rage and sadness from life itself? And how you are treating yourself?