Day 1 The next chapter of my journey to healing.

Hi Everyone

After doing alot of reading and taking up the curable app recently, I am declaring today "Day 1" of my journey to healing from TMS.

Basically I have had chronic (24/7) facial tingling and burning for the past 18 months. It began after a string of incredibly stressful situations (the biggest being a year of unsuccessful IVF treatment followed by some major depression). Sure enough I freaked right out, went through the mill of tests which all came back clear, saw chiropractors etc etc incase I had a trapped nerve but nothing seemed to help. About a year ago I began to see a foggy pattern between the intensity of my symptoms and my stress and anxiety levels but I was still completely ruled by the fear that there was something structurally wrong with me so didn't really entertain that it could be the root cause.

Finally during the summer after yet another failed IVF treatment, I met with an IVF counsellor and told her about my symptoms and she said she was not at all surprised that my body would be crying out "Psychosomatically" in this way after everything I have been through so far. From there I began seeing another therapist who specialised in Anxiety and have been seeing her for 6 months. In that time I have come closer and closer to accepting that my symptoms are TMS. I have done alot of research, joined the anxietycentre.com website which has been massively helpful as well as signing up to curable.

I know it all seems long winded (ive read so many stories about people reading one of Dr Sarno's books and having a lightbulb moment) - lets just say Ive taken the scenic route!

I am the classic TMS candidate- traumatic childhood and teenage years, issues with anxiety and depression for most of my late teens and twenties... IVF in my thirties really seemed to be the straw that broke the camels back and made me chronically symptomatic... but if I look back across my whole life Ive had alot of TMS symptoms and not really connected the dots until now. Im also a perfectionist and a goodist... check, check, check!

So yeah- thats my story. Im so ready to unpick all of these repressed emotions and work through this. I fully accept Im dealing with TMS but my anxious brain is constantly saying "Yeah but what if this doesn't work- what if you cant truly get to the emotional root cause and youre stuck this way- you might be too far gone and never get better". Im trying to stand up to that inner bully but its tough! Here's to 2019! I truly hope I will find so much healing and wellness this year, both mentally and physically!

 

Hi sweetandsimple,

Welcome! You're in the right place. The fact that over time you have seen, and been supported to see relationships between stress and your symptoms is a huge support in your work. This is the way the healing often starts, by simply seeing the connection, and reassuring yourself that you're not physically impaired.

This is a common fear. I suggest self-compassion. Read success stories. Many people thought they'd never get better. They did. Persistent, non-pressured practice is best.

I would not worry so much about getting to the root. It is more about what I call "opening the doorways to feeling more." Simply inquiring into what might be going on down deep, and growing your capacity to be with feelings over time is enough. This, and connecting what you find to your understanding of TMS theory, how it operates in you, your personality, and so on.

You might look toward the end of this this recent thread. Also, working with the Inner Critic is not easy, so be patient with yourself here. Outside help is important for many.

http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/new-here.20109/ (New here)

I am not sure if you're starting one of the programs on the Wiki (free), but highly suggest the Structured Education Program or others.

Andy B