The pain maybe better than the emotion

today I have some pain. I can see why I would rather have this pain than deal/ acknowledge how badly I feel about myself. Doing this program is making me aware how much I do not like how I am. I do stuff and it's not good enough to the goals I've set up for myself. Even in social settings I prefer to be isolated, that way no one can know the real me. I'm always pretty sure if they knew, they would hate me, what's to like? It gets exhausting moving forward into the day, and I do not have any enormous things to do. I know lots of people but have no close friends...that makes me so sad. From the outside looking in at my life, it looks pretty much great, but I don't feel great. I'm not here having a pity party. The feeling of crappy-ness are always there under the surface. It sucks to admit this....

 

Dear MJG,

I admire that you are willing to look at these painful emotions and write about them. This is the type of work it takes to heal from TMS, so you are on your way. Yes, it is painful at times, but you will have the support of a very compassionate and caring community here on the Forum. Please keep us informed about how you are doing, and let us know how we can support you on your healing journey. I have felt very much like what you express in your post, and I can tell you that it can and does get better if you do the work. Healing our TMS is about healing our lives, and the techniques you will learn in the SEP really work. Best wishes to you....

And welcome to the Forum!