The Transformative Power of Journaling

Can you explain the purpose of such behavior? Whenever I journal I just get livid. Is this part of the process? Honestly asking.

 

I was listening to a book today, and it said that in most cases, anger is a distraction to cover up fear.

Perhaps that will help you with some insight into your journaling.

 

Anger protects you. After being psychologically abused for years by a parent (I didn't even grasp this was a thing until a few years ago) I am raging.

Constantly.

Talking about it makes me rage.

Writing about it makes me rage.

It's the anger I wish I had when it was happening. Instead of being compliant and weak.

The anger I was never allowed to feel because the only thing that matters is what my parent says.

 

The main purpose of writing in a journal is to vent, to get your stress and feelings out of your system so they are not making you sick.
I find it kind of helpful, but sometimes it does seem like it's reinforcing my stress instead of getting rid of it.
There are other things one can do for self expression and release....in the past I've found it really helpful doing (self directed) 'drama therapy', ie giving (absent) people The Finger in the privacy of my own home, telling them what I think of them , etc.

 

After reading the book Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving, by Pete Walker, I comprehended that I should be mad.

But after being mad for a while, I read on reddit that allowing anger is bad because it generates a positive reward system. Anger feels grand. And even if you're justifiably angry, it's not good to embrace it.

So now I do not know what to do.

 

That’s the difference I spoke of in my last reply to you.
Be mad, feel mad. Feel angry, feel annoyed… this is an emotion that passes through the system in a few minutes like all emotions do. Feel the physical sensations of it.
The difference is staying angry, living in it as a state of mind and probably not being fully aware of it. This anger eats at you. It’s resentments and frustrations you can’t let go of, and that is self destructive. That’s more of what your second source is talking about, I think.
Perhaps it’s a good time to stop researching and over analyzing it all, and realize anger is ok to feel. Feel vs think and ruminate upon. Worry less about what someone else thinks is right or wrong about it and focus on how you are right now, in this moment.
This phase will most likely pass for you.

 

Oh, and Reddit is full of armchair quarterbacks. People are free to spout anything true or false - you need to take it all with a huge grain of salt or just steer clear of it.

 

Thank you @JanAtheCPA for this great ressource, I like so much the journaling ladder in ressources of this article !
That give me some ideas on how to make journaling with tiny steps, instead og baby steps!
And I appreciate that there are a lot of writing techniques and ideas inside.

 

I'm learning some great new perspectives thanks to Adams Kathleen and his ladder + exercices !
I'm already using them and loving the deeper customization and structuration it allows !
I share the whole structure here, if it can help anyone :



That's a really great value tool (for my personal journal, and also to generate the best custom exercices for the ones I'm coaching).