The Valley of the Dead

I am on day 39 of the SED. My life is just rolling along. I started following the TMS protocol at the beginning of March. I had a sore back for 2 years. That is much better, almost all better. I have been going to the pool and swimming 3 days a week. I started out just walking and built my way up. I now swim about 20 minutes each time. And yes, physical activity does get easier as you go along, with the help of positive self talk and following the journaling in the SEP. I am still working on some nervous problems I have, which probably started the whole sore back ball rolling. I am having a party at my house tomorrow, with 35 people. As I clean my house I try not to focus on the house being perfectly clean, but that my house is warm and inviting.

I believe I am coming around a bend. I had a dream last night that reflected that feeling of leaving one place and going onto another, so I wrote a poem about the dream and here it is:

The Valley of the Dead
There is dark and doom
Death and rot loom
We hang on as long as we can
White knuckles
I say it is time
We must go
Come, lets go
But no, no
Just me, no friends, no family
A few other fringe dwellers
We take off, we fly
The valley crumbles
The valley quakes
The valley is a valley no more
Filled with the dust of cremated lives
Now just lazy rolling hills
that give me the chills
As I remember the past
The breath of days gone by
On my way to the future
But for now I fly.

 

That is a beautiful poem peggy, thank you for allowing us to read it. I know what every line means for I was there too. You have come a long way and you have walked through some dark shadows to get where you are. You are an inspiration to me, keep the good times a rolling for sure. Enjoy the weekend my friend.
Bless you

 

Thanks for this, Peggy. I'm preparing for a visit from inlaws I have never met, and it's definitely a challenge for me. Cleaning today hurt quite a bit, but I'm trying to just stay the course. My anxiety will be what it will be. I'm trying to go easy on myself and like you focus on the more positive aspects. I'm only on day 13 of the SEP. Seems like the key for me is understanding that I can get control over my thoughts... I don't have to be at their mercy. Hope your party is a wonderful, affirming experience.

 

Meeting inlaws, that seems like a big emotional issue. Good luck, and thanks for the insights, another person's perspective is helpful in keeping my thoughts in line.

 

You got all the right thoughts Marian, stay in the Flow and enjoy yourself. Think on these thoughts from Dr. Abraham Lowe -
If you can't change a situation you can change your attitude towards it...
Be self‐led, not symptom‐led. …..……………………………………
Nervous symptoms and sensations are distressing but not dangerous…….….
Comfort is a want, not a need. ………………………………..…………
Calm begets calm, temper begets temper………………………
Don't take our own dear selves too seriously………………………………
Helplessness is not hopelessness………………………..
Some people have a passion for self‐distrust…….………….
Temper maintains and intensifies symptoms……………… Eric Watsons quote) - And so does worry
Do things in part acts……………………………
Have the courage to make a mistake……………
Feelings are not facts………………
Bless You

 

Thank you, Eric. Worry maintains and intensifies symptoms: that one has me written all over it. Also, feelings are not facts. I'm starting to connect the dots between my emotional states, my thinking and my pain in new ways every day. My emotional state is becoming the focus, slowly, rather than the pain, and I am seeing. That's the only way I can put it. I'm starting to see.

 

Thank You Marian -- You are learning perfectly, as long as a little sinks in at a time you will have a better grasp of it when it all come to fruition, for we see darkly as through a glass and then we see some of the light and then we see the full manifestation face to face.
You will only get better as time rolls on, bless you.