The Way Out Is Through

I’m 35 and I live in Perth, Australia. I had Knee pain, neck pain, Wrist pain and stomach ache for years but all are gone now. Reading other people’s stories and experiences helped me a lot in overcoming the pain and that’s why I’m writing my story. I’m writing it now that I’m 99% pain free.

My Stomach ache started about 10 years ago due to hypo pylori bacteria. It was diagnosed by my doctor and treated quickly but the pain never went away and no specific diagnosis by doctors after that. Some said it might be stress based but tried to resolve it with pills which was not successful.

It was about the same time when my knee pain started. I saw many doctors for that. Some said there is nothing wrong and some considered it as Chondromalacia patella or tendonitis and gave me pills, some exercises to do and different limitations on what to do and what not to do. Gradually I started making lots of limitation for myself. A long list of things not to eat that triggered my stomach ache and limitations on my movements and sitting postures. In retrospect It is amazing how I use to make a guess of what caused the pain on a certain occasion and after that it became a good source for my brain to use it for the next time to create the pain and that lead to adding to the list of limitations.

After a few years my neck pain and wrist pain started as well. They were diagnosed as Osteoarthritis and tendonitis by doctors and related to working long hours at computer which was related to my job. These pains just became worse and worse to the extent that I felt I was getting old and disabled and the fear of that made it even worse.

It was about 3 years ago when my knee pain and wrest pain became so severe that almost stopped me doing my job. And yes my job was directly dependant on them. I couldn’t go up stairs and used to wear knee straps most of the times. I used wrest strap while using mouse which was not helping much and couldn’t even hold my phone. I even had pain when I held my hands up to hold the steering wheel while driving.

I kept searching on net to find some solution for my problems and other peoples experiences with these pains. And one day I suddenly came across with a post from someone who had the experience of TMS. His post was so good and effective that I accepted the idea immediately after reading it. I don’t remember it exactly but it had a sentence like this: “you have been designed and created to live in the wild and fight with wild animals so working with a fucking mouse is not going to break your wrist apart”. And that is so true!

Then I started searching more and more about TMS. I found this TMS Forum and started Alan Gordon’s Pain Recovery Program. Wow, It was amazing, my neck pain went away in one week and my wrest pain became 50% better in two weeks. I just didn’t understand why I’ve developed TMS as I considered myself a very calm and relax person. To answer that question I read the book “The Presence Process” as I thought I needed to get to my problem more deeply. Although it was a great book and helped me a lot it was not the right choice to begin with and it didn't answer my questions at that time. I then read Dr Sarno’s book and like said by many people I found myself in every page of it. I then realized how people like me who seem to be calm and relaxed would develop TMS. We repress our feelings without knowing it to be kind and nice. I thought I didn't care about different matters but I actually repressed my feelings. Now I remember the bad dreams I had during my sleep which where reflection of the feelings which I used to repress. My dreams are now a good tool for me to find out about the feelings I repress.
I continued reading about TMS and overcoming my fears. I overcame my limitations one after the other, started working out at gym, started running, taking stairs and more. I kept on pushing myself even if I had pain and it was enjoyable being over it and not having fear of it. In about four months’ time I took 250 steps up a tower easily with no pain. After my success with my knee, wrest and neck pain I thought my stomach ache should be TMS as well. I thought it would be more difficult to deal with as it was different from the other pains. I decided to start working on it and stopped all my medication and limitations. It was amazing that I was pain free immediately after making the decision. No limit at all. I ate anything I liked anytime I liked and no pain. I think it was because of my previous success with other pains and the believe I had in it. I could never believe it if I hadn’t experienced it myself. In just a few months I was 90% pain free. However it took much longer to get rid of that last few percentages. It’s now 3 years past and I am 99% pain free. The reason I don’t say 100% is because TMS can come back any time for any body and you have to be always aware. Three years ago I felt I was getting old and disabled and now I feel the power of youth back again. I’m back to life. I keep working out at gym and have started building up muscles. What a good feeling.

I used ideas and experiences from others and had some new experiences myself. I even made some mistakes. Once I injured my wrest tendon at gym by putting too much pressure on it and when I had the pain I thought that was TMS back again so I didn’t care and put more pressure on it (like what I did before) but it was a real injury and I made it worse. When I saw it swallowing I understood that it was a real injury. I had a few days of severe pain and it healed after a few weeks rest. (That’s how a real pain would be, not to take for ever). Sometimes it gets really hard to tell between TMS and a real pain especially when you get TMS pain in a part of body where you had a previous injury.

I thank Dr Sarno and Alan Gordon and everybody else whose ideas and writings I used during this journey and I wish success for everyone else who is dealing with TMS.

And for the end my golden sentence, the very sentence which helped me the most during this journey:

"The way out is through"
(From the book "The Presence Process" by Michael Brown)

 

This is a wonderful success story. I am thrilled for you and grateful that you have shared your story with us, it will help many others.

Well done!

 

Wonderful and encouraging story. Thank you for writing it up!

 

Awesome quote!

 

Thanks to @JanAtheCPA and others for their comments. And again wish success for everyone.
I wish I could reach everyone with TMS and share my experience but it's a shame I find people really difficult accepting the idea.

 

Just reading this makes me feel better

 

Thanks so much for posting your experience! It's very encouraging to read about your success with similar pains to my own - wrist, neck, and shoulders. I think I'm beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel and your post definitely helps. I also love your final quote/sentence - "The way out is through". Has me gearing up for a battle. I'm done being bullied by TMS. Bring it on.

 

I want to add that once I stopped resisting my back pain and started observing it and allowing it to be there, that’s when it started subsiding. Yes, the way out is through, and we will make it through.

 

Thanks for posting your beautiful story.. You have come a long way.. And I can feel the emotion..