Day 19 Things I've done that I'm proud of

Question on day 19: Since starting this program have you done anything that makes you proud? Where does this sense of achievement come from?

This program has helped me change my mindset in many different ways. I'm learning to become friends with my emotions, to welcome them. Most importantly, I've learnt that the fear of my symptoms is actually exacerbating them and therefore, I've become mindful of when I get into fear cycles so that I can stop myself quickly. I've learnt the importance of using somatic tracking and also cognitive soothing to tell my inner child that when he's fearful, that we are actually quite ok. It' been quite revelatory. Now that I know that fear has been perpetuating my symptoms, I'm determined to find ways to stop myself from falling into unconstructive fear cycles.

I've been doing this program at the same time as doing the 'Presence Process' and the 'Compassionate Circles' from Gabor Mate. These three running in parallel have been a real awakening in terms of home my mind and trauma have been keeping me in a painful state for years.

I'm proud of myself as increasingly, I'm making more efforts to come out of my comfort zone to do things that may trigger either emotions or pain. I'm building tools every day to manage my discomfort and communicate to my body that I am ok.

I don't think I've ever loved myself like I do now since I was a child. I feel extremely hopeful and also patient. I know that although I have a clear direction I am also in a state of surrender, knowing that the gentler I am the faster I'll move.

 

Your last paragraph is so, so powerful.