Day 33 Things learned so far

I have learned some things much more clearly since I started this programme. I notice that I have been put down quite a lot in my relationship, but much more than this is the revelation of how I finish the job by criticising myself in further ways. Self criticism and inner conflict about the ramifications with this or that person when I make a decision are huge. So I'm standing up for myself much more and feel better when I do. And I'm catching myself quite often when I self criticise and making myself see that I'm more competent and intelligent than I usually give myself credit for.
As for issues with my very elderly father, I have spent my whole life loving him, excusing him, going along with his passive aggression, feeling guilty, trying to smooth things for him, seeing things from his viewpoint, trying to make him happy, forgive, care for, be a fantastic caring daughter ... So it seems absolutely right and indeed essential to really listen at last to that inner rage. And this is making me feel more balanced in a surprising number of ways. It's knowledge of the rage that nurtures me. He probably won't notice much difference in my behaviour. But I, precious me, feel more authentic and whole.
So thank u programme. Not bad for 33 days. And continuing ... !

 

Hi, Judy. Older people usually are very self-centered, maybe worrying about their aches and pains or their mortality, or being angry about past events and how they dealt with them. I was my mother's primary caretaker for a few years and she nearly drove me nuts because she was impossible to please.
Try to be patient with your father and find ways to get away to have some pleasant and relaxing time to yourself. But try not to criticize yourself. In being a caretaker you are doing very stressful work and don't let rage get to you. When things get bad, go into the bathroom and cover your mouth and scream, or just LAUGH. Laughing is very therapeutic both mentally and physically.

If Christmas is any problem for you, look at my posting in the General Information subforum where famous people remember their favorite Christmas. It's very inspirational.

Merry ho ho!

 

I meant the Christmas stories are in the General Discussion subforum.

 

Hi Juddy66,

What a wonderful progress report. I wish everyone who starts this SEP could read your post.

These are some parts that stick out for me. This really supports the idea that TMS work helps us become more authentic, and this requires being where we are ---not where we think we should be-- in our inner and outer relationships. Wonderful!! Thanks for sharing this.

Andy B.