Thoughts

One of the things I've noticed about myself is that I over think negative things that happen in my life. If something happens that upsets me I will think about it for days or even weeks - even though the problem is resolved. If it's a disagreement with another person we may have resolved this between us but my thoughts will still be on it - going over it. Sometimes there's self-blame and sometimes not. I've tried to calm the thoughts down, used distraction, meditation, self-talk but it's almost like something takes over my mind and I can't let the problem go. Any suggestions?

 

I love the buddhist concept of the train/train station shared with me by someone on this forum. I have, or at least have had (I'm better now that I am more mindful) the same problem. The idea is this:

picture yourself sitting on a train platform. In this train stations different "thought" trains come and go. The cool thing is that you always have the option of getting on a train, or simply allowing the train to stop in the station and then just move right on passed you. So name your thoughts....for example, "oh, here comes the fight with my best friend train. That train is filled with all sorts of guilt and shame. I think I will choose not to get on that train. I will instead sit here on my comfy pillow in the middle of the platform. Bye Bye "fight with my best friend train," I don't need you. I don't need to go on down the track with you." Each time a negative "thing" or "thought" pops into your head imagine it is a train and then picture yourself seated comfortably (balanced and happy) on the platform and then visualize the train doors opening and you making the choice to stay right where you are. Then visualize that train whizzing right past you and down the track.

It takes practice and I found it unnatural at first...but I used this visualization a lot for several weeks and then something amazing happening...I stopped going over and over and over things. I stopped the negative thoughts cycle. Now when I see the potential for creating some type of negative cyclical thinking I simply recognize it for what it is and then shove it out of my mind...I know now that I choose whether or not to get on that train.

Negative cyclical thinking serves now purpose. Its just more chatter and distraction. TMS healing is about learning to recognize your emotions and emotional triggers, but also learning to let go over things that you don't have control over or that have already been resolved.

Let me know if the above visualization helps you. Visualizations are helpful b/c they take abstract thoughts and emotions and ground them..helping us cope with them better. Our unconscious mind thinks in symbols and metaphors...so sometimes I think reprogramming our brain out of the TMS pattern using visualizations is like speaking the language of our unconscious.

 

Rainbow, I notice I have the same problem of engaging in endless inner dialogs with imaginary opponents that I have had conflicts with weeks, even years earlier. And I agree with Lala that they are non-productive mental gossip. But one thing I have noticed is that my imaginary opponents are always masks for conflicts I've had with super-ego figures like dad and mom. It's important then to look beneath the surface to see who you're really arguing with. I think a tendency to engage in this kind of mental gossip is also part of a tendency of people with TMS to have an obsessive compulsive component in their personality driven by unresolved inner conflicts, usually between parent (superego) and child (id). I remember Alan Gordon telling me when I described my habit of getting caught up in mental gossip, that such dialogs were to quote him, "non-productive". Whenever you are consumed with mental gossip like you describe, it's important to go deep and find out what the conflict is really about while not getting suckered into the process so it runs of its own accord. I think in the meditation entitled "Mindfulness" included on the CD in the jacket of Howard Schubiner's Unlearn Your Pain workbook there are detailed instructions for how to detach yourself from those sort of inner parent/child voices and ideas.

Good question! And good luck!

 

Thanks so much for these replies. I'm using the train technique and it's going well. You've both given me a lot to think and journal about!

MorComm your explanation hits home with me. I'll be sending for Unlearn Your Pain. x