TMS at site of actual injury (first forum post)

TLDR: Known TMSer, mild foot injury November 2022. Crutches a year and a half until MRI showed it was healed. Got back to walking (with limitations) until last Sunday when I rolled my foot and now I’m back on crutches. Looking for comments on my situation or people who can relate, particularly on the extremely difficult relationship between an actual injury and TMS. And also about the weird “healing through loving attention” thing I describe below. Thank you so much if you read or comment on this!!

(I WROTE A POST BELOW WITH ALL OF THE DETAILS WHICH HOPEFULLY ISN'T TOO MUCH!)

I started having bad back pain in 2015 when I first went to college. A year later I read Sarno’s "Healing Back Pain" and got my life back. After that, the pain slowly spread to my whole body, popping up in random places, but it never fully stopped me from doing anything important.

But back in November 2022 I slipped down a couple stairs and got a mild-moderate bone contusion on my foot. The doctor said it should've been 6 weeks until I was walking with no pain. Here's where it gets a little bit interesting.

So, in my own personal journey with managing my emotions I learned to basically hold them in my attention and experience them directly until they dissipated, and this is the same thing that I started organically doing with my foot pain. I would hold my foot in loving attention, some of the pain would come to the surface and hurt really bad, and then afterwards my foot would feel just a tiny bit better. In doing this I sort of felt like I was at the same time healing the actual injury and also making the foot feel "emotionally safe” to deal with the TMS pain. I spent basically a month and a half on a couch doing nothing but this process, holding my foot in loving attention all day long.

And, it basically worked. After the first two months of no improvement (to my doctor’s confusion), through this process I was slowly increasing functionality to the point where I got off my crutches. But then, I overdid it seriously with walking one day and put myself BACK on crutches. And, at this point, I no longer had the time (b/c of life circumstances) to do the whole “attention healing” process again.

I went back on crutches for basically an entire year after this. Then, I got a second MRI that showed the bone contusion had healed, and this gave me the confidence to start walking again, which I’d been doing (with limitations) for several months. But then, last Sunday, I rolled my ankle on a walk (which I could tell was not serious at all and would’ve had no effect on my other foot) and now because of that I’m back to being on crutches and laying in my bed.

So that’s where I’m at.

I’ve already booked an orthopedist appointment to try to get assurance on the medical end, but it’s really messing with my life and feel worried about this putting me back on crutches for a long time again. For me, it’s pretty easy to deal with TMS in an area where there couldn’t logically be any injury, but when you have an actual injury combined with the TMS that’s when it gets incredibly difficult.

A part of me still feels like if I had just completed my original “attention-healing” practice this problem would've gone away. That perhaps there’s some emotional holding pattern, or subtle aspect of the injury, that can only be resolved through that process that my body seems to want to organically do (but that I no longer have the emotional bandwidth to do anymore) and that this won’t fully go away until that is completed. But, this is so difficult because this “attention healing” process is something that I just started doing organically and I haven’t found anyone who can offer guidance on it or even relate. At the same time, I really just want to get back to at least limited walking as soon as possible because of how this derails my life.

So, obviously this is a lot, but I’d love any comments on my situation or if you relate at all. Comments/stories are particularly welcome about the extremely difficult relationship between an actual injury and TMS, or about the “healing through loving attention” thing I was talking about. Thank you so much if you read all of this and I really look forward to hearing your comments!

 

Hello @mojo900, I can totally relate to your situation. As a former chronic pain sufferer who has recovered of TMS starting with real foot injuries (and now coaches others, I've seen some other cases like yours). The mix of real injury and TMS can be really tricky. First, bravo for recognizing TMS and using Sarno's work to get your life back! That's a big step. Your experience with pain moving around is classic TMS behavior. About your foot injury and the "attention healing" process:

1. This approach sounds similar to some techniques we use in Pain Reprocessing Therapy (PRT). It's great that you found this intuitively! Giving loving attention to pain can help reduce fear and change how the brain processes pain signals.
2. The on-off nature of your symptoms, especially after the MRI showed healing, strongly suggests a TMS component. Remember, our brains can create very real pain even when there's no structural damage.
3. Your recent setback after rolling your ankle? Classic TMS flare-up triggered by a minor incident (it's still important to truly validate this with a doctor you trust). The brain, remembering the old pain pattern, reactivates it.

Here are some thoughts to consider:

• Trust the MRI results. If it shows healing, your foot is structurally okay.
• The "attention healing" worked before - maybe try it again, but in shorter sessions? That's a second tool I use on coaching, when the first step of attention redirect is ok but feels too long. Keep the essential. Words that give you the most of safety.
  
• Consider exploring other TMS techniques like pain education, emotional awareness, and gradual exposure to feared movements. (I woulds suggest Somatic Tracking listening, excellent when you liked attention practices)
  
• Remember, setbacks are normal in recovery. They don't mean you're back to square one.

The relationship between actual injury and TMS is complex. Initial injury can create a pain pattern that the brain continues long after physical healing. This is why addressing both physical and psychological aspects is crucial. Keep working with your doctors for reassurance, but also consider seeking help on this forum / with specialist. They can guide you through this tricky terrain and help you fully recover.

Stay hopeful!
Full recovery is possible, even from long-standing pain.
Many of us have overcome similar situations.
You're on the right track - keep going!

 

I do remember seeing the Pain Reprocessing Therapy instructions and thinking, to some degree, that that was basically what I was already doing organically.

- "That's a second tool I use on coaching, when the first step of attention redirect is ok but feels too long." I wasn't sure what you meant by this sentence, about using "attention healing" secondarily when the first tool of redirecting attention "feels too long." What do you mean by "feels too long" in this context? Could you clarify?

Is there a difference between somatic tracking and Pain Reprocessing Therapy?

The thing about TMS for me is that understanding its nature really helped me when I originally had back pain, and it can give me some reassurance when I have pain in other places. But 1) I have never been able to actually get rid of my pain through TMS awareness. It's just that I'm aware of the nature of the pain (so I don't freak out), and otherwise I just have to somewhat modulate my activities to the level of the pain. Like, when I'm typing or holding my hands in a certain way, I'll get hand pain. I know it's TMS, but the only way I've found to manage it for the first part is just to modulate activities to the pain. It's not a huge encumbrance to me, but it speaks to how I've never been able to fully "defeat" (I know maybe that's not the perfect non-combative word but whatever) the TMS.

This is related to the foot, because although I know (even though the level of pain makes me doubt sometimes) that it's TMS, this doesn't allow me to defeat it. The pain just rises to a level where it feels so real. And if I push past that the pain just gets worse. It's also really hard because this is the first time I've dealt with the relationship between an actual injury and TMS, so I guess this difficulty is more new for me.....

 

Hello @mojo900,

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences. I'm glad you found similarities between your intuitive approach and Pain Reprocessing Therapy (PRT). Let me clarify a few points:

About the "attention redirect" and "feels too long": I meant that sometimes, when we try to redirect attention away from pain, it can feel challenging or time-consuming. In such cases, a shorter version of your "attention healing" technique can be useful. It's about finding a balance that works for you. Try to feel lighter when you use TMS tools, I know it is not easy !

Somatic Tracking vs PRT: Somatic Tracking is actually the major key technique of the complete PRT therapy. It involves observing bodily sensations without judgment, with safety and ease. This can help reduce fear and change pain perception.

Your struggle to fully "defeat" TMS is not uncommon. Many people find that awareness helps manage pain but doesn't completely eliminate it. The goal is often to reduce pain's impact on your life rather than eradicate it entirely. Your mind and body will naturally do the last part, but later in time... We need to keep patience, not easy neither.

Adjusting your activities based on pain levels is a good strategy. However, gradually expanding your comfort zone can be beneficial. Gradual exposure approaches will truly be helpful.

The intensity of pain can make us doubt its nature. Remember, even TMS pain is real pain - your brain is creating it. The challenge is to teach your brain that these sensations aren't dangerous.

This combination is particularly tricky. It's crucial to work with healthcare professionals to ensure proper healing while addressing the TMS component. A multidisciplinary approach often works best.

Consider exploring more structured PRT techniques and protocols may help you (like the whole PRT, the EAET, ...). Recovery is a process. You need to be sure you can trust your process to release some kind of extra-pression added. Your awareness and willingness to understand your pain are already significant steps forward.

Stay hopeful, keep posting on the forum, keep exploring what works best for you!

 

For me, what I'm finding is that, as a generality, my nervous system is in a sort of "hyped-up" state and that is expressed partly through pain manifesting in the body. And, when I originally injured my foot back in Nov 2022, because of this "hyped-up" state, the foot needed a combination of physical rest to heal the physical injury, but also extensive rest combined with holding the foot in loving attention and giving it whatever it needed to feel safe in order for the emotionally charged aspect of the foot to relax and let go.

The thing is that that "attention-healing" worked, until I overdid it one day and put the foot back in pain (even though, realistically, even though it's hard to say this, I think it was probably 1000% physically fine at this point). And then I couldn't do the attention healing again due to life circumstances, so like a year went by mostly on crutches (although I could walk a little around the house). But then the MRI a year later showing it had healed just gave me the confidence to walk (with so much less pain).

And I was doing this for several months, even walking long distances, until I very very minorly "rolled" my ankle and the pain went up again and put me back on crutches.

Now, it seems like the only thing that feels effective at the moment is to do that "attention-healing" thing again. Because I can feel that working, but it's just very very slow - which is also very hard because an important person in my life feels very negatively about me being on crutches which adds a lot of stress to the situation and to an already slow healing method.

So at this point, I'm doing this "attention-healing" and also reaching out to TMS-coach type people to try to get more wisdom and see if there's any other way I can approach this. Because it's very frustrating to be in bed all day to do this method.

Because, until I get the root of the problem, the "hyped-up nervous system" to calm down, will I just have to do this "attention-healing" thing every time I get injured? That's really really frustrating.

And also, what is the relationship between having *confidence* about the TMS nature of the foot (like when I got the MRI showing the foot had healed and I gained the ability to walk so much more), and the *"attention-healing"*? Are both of these things necessary? And is there a third aspect of this, that I'm not aware of, that would make the foot feel safe enough for me to walk comfortably/fix the problem?

Anyway, thanks so much if you read all that and I really look forward to hearing any comment. Thanks!

 

Hi Mojo,

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. It sounds like you are really in tune with your body and the state of your nervous system. It's common for a "hyped-up" nervous system to cause pain, and your approach of combining physical rest with "attention-healing" is a good way to address both the physical and emotional aspects of pain.

I understand how frustrating it can be when you feel like you're making progress, only to have a minor setback put you back on crutches. It's great that you have found some success with "attention-healing," even if it feels slow right now. Remember, healing is often not linear, and it can take time.

One important suggestion: you don't need to do "attention-healing" all day long while being inactive. Instead, you can progressively reduce the duration of this exercise and simultaneously engage in gentle foot activities. These could include:

- Soft foot rotations
- Gentle self-massage
- Very gentle yoga stretches
- Tai Chi movements
- Warm foot baths
- Using a massage ball
- Light stretching

These activities can help you:
- Gradually reintroduce movement
- Reduce fear around foot movement
- Keep your nervous system calm
- Provide gentle stimulation to your foot

The key is to stay relaxed and not push too hard. Listen to your body and progress slowly.

Keep sharing your journey here on the forum! Your experiences can inspire others who are going through similar challenges. You're not alone in this, and the community is here to support you.

Take care!

 

Hello @mojo900, I was thinking about you.
How are you going these days ?
Did you have the opportunity to pick an idea suggested on this thread ? Did you try to work on it ?