TMS, maybe

My saga started while doing a 20 mile hike I tore my meniscus in my knee and my other knee went dowhhill compensating for it. This is not my TMS issue though. I was rather distraght over my knees and became suddenly very sedentary. About 5 weeks later I started getting burning sensations over the top of my ankles. The burning sensations moved around to the top of my foot, both sides and both feet. This also started with back to school, I am teacher, and I felft not ready to do my job with the constant aching and swelling knees. One night the burning pain jumped into my wrists but I told it to go away and it did. I still have the burning pain now tightness and it is becoming more constant. I have super tight anterior tibibialis muscles and the tendon between my foot and shinbone is sore to the touch. My ankles also feel tight on the outside and overally weird.

My whole body is tight and I have been having major anxiety attacks over this. I have dropped about 20 pounds.

I met with a TMS therapist and he thought it was very likely that my pain was from TMS. The timing and nature of it while I was under a time of great stress was very suggestive. He said I have had some major big T traumas in my life.

I was thinking this was TMS but now I am thinking strutuctural. I am seeing a doctor for this in a couple weeks to rule out structural. I know I want this to be TMS so there is nothing wrong with me and I can heal. Any thoughts?

 

Hi @forest31
Your TMS therapist is a professional who is trained, has worked with many TMS clients and probably has TMS themselves.
You are simply doing what we call TMS-ing
Your brain is simply rejecting the notion that your pain be psychological in nature, something it created pain to protect you from, so it wants to keep you thinking physically. Thinking physically is simply a social construct we’ve been trained into thinking keeps us safe.
The reality is, is that you probably have anxiety and fears that go back far beyond your knee injury. Personally I suspect that your TMS symptoms began with the injured knee. It is incredibly common for TMS to mirror body parts too -one knee hurts.. then the other..
You developed physical beliefs during this time about the cause of your pain, and most doctors are schooled in the same theories of thought. It is also very common for TMS pain to spread. Fear of MS not uncommon, I was told by PT’s and trainers that was probably my issue (MRI’s were clear).
Tests, doctors more doctors, pt’s who don’t believe in a mind body integrated whole person approach etc might offer you a variety of diagnoses.
My suggestion is to read The Divided Mind by Dr. Sarno, and meet with your TMS therapist again. Be willing to open your mind to possibilities that are new to you with an attitude of what harm will come from considering a new perspective.
Above to the right of your screen is a small box with a magnifier icon. That’s our search box. Type in knee pain success, or ankle pain etc and see what comes up from past threads on this wiki!

 

I was writing up a response but Cactusflower covered it beautifully. I, too, recommend The Divided Mind, it's definitely more in depth.

 

My TMS therapist has had TMS. But I haven't ruled out a structural issue yet so I have great doubts. My left ankle is starting to feel jammed but loose at the same time and I get burning pain in it. I also have a visible bone spur on the top of the foot. It doesn't feel like it used to. My knee issues go back over a decade. I actually have a partial knee replacement on the knee with the menisus tear and that knee needs to be converted to a total sometime in the nearish future.

I have been obsessively looking for success stories similar to mine, since I have doubts.

I was very active and had a great life until I did too much hikkng this summer and destroyed my body.

 

@forest31
No offense, but we aren’t interested in your descriptions of your discomfort. This is hyper focus and a very sure signal TMS is at play. “Ankle pain” which you’d already mentioned suffices.
Things like “destroyed my body” is heavily blame related, as is “too much”. Please give yourself massive credit for getting out there and doing it!
Blame, self-pressure etc are other TMS anxietal characteristics.
On this forum we don’t focus on the physical. We focus on mentality, attitude, psychological factors, stress, anxiety and calming the nervous system.
Sarno is a great assurance and helps explain what is happening to you, and the book discusses a variety of TMS manifestations.
The search for success stories and symptom matching is something every single person does. Our mind tries to get us to think we are the exception, or no way could TMS be at play. Notice I said “at play” because you have had injury - your initial injury typically heals in a few months.
Before I heard of TMS, I had back and foot pain. Then a frozen shoulder. It was absurd. I was told not to exercise the shoulder but I did, hard! I laughed at it, because who on earth is as fit as I was and had all these things “wrong”. I didn’t equate it to stress or emotion yet, but in 4 months my shoulder was fine. The orthopedist was shocked.
Then I had to stop working out so much due to ankle pain, then my back got continually more involved. I had seizures, high anxiety, depression, bowl and bladder symptoms, lost 40 lbs (already underweight) and became bed ridden for over a year (almost 2). Now I walk several miles a day, do chores, hobbies, work part-time - one job requires long hours on my feet dancing (no, not that! Ha), I am no longer depressed, notice but don’t pay much mind to anxiety, and enjoy life.
I’m not pain free but I will be. My goal is to paddle board (never done it), canoe and kayak again.

 

Thanks for the input Cactusflower. My therapist told me I have a huge jar of despair and no hope. I am doing a terrible job calming my nervous system and my mind dwells in the past over regrets. I regret the hiking because the repercussions has had a great impact on my kids and family. Emotionally I have great regret. When I talk physical stuff my therapist is always asking me what else was going on in my life, how was I feeling.

 

Forest, this sounds like severe anxiety. (I have this too.) TMS is anxiety and anxiety is TMS. They are interchangeable. This short book will help you a lot. It explains everything. Hope and Help for Your Nerves, by Claire Weekes. Also, check out this video:

 

It's ok, we're all learning. It's not easy to deeply accept it's TMS when we've been beaten by the pain.

Alan Gordon says pain is the perfect go-to for the mind that's so used to finding excuses to worry. He recommends that, if calming your mind is too hard, try little moments of enjoying some sensation. You'll see how the mind starts fighting back against it, because it's used to being worried, and finds safety in it. Like inadvertently showing its hand in a poker game.

I always think about that when some inner voice starts complaining I should be worrying and the symptom shouldn't be this loud and blah blah blah...

 

Claire Weekes, who has authored several books has methods such as “floating” which also helps with these thoughts, so does an anxiety method call STOP often used for OCD-like thinking patterns (or repetitive, negative thoughts). It can be overcome!