To Those Who Find The Emotional Work Confusing

I wanted to make a post about this because I found the emotional work kind of confusing when I started doing mind body work but now that I am understanding how to actually experience my emotions; I thought I’d lend a hand to those who are still trying to figure it out!

As many of you probably experienced, before I developed symptoms, I never felt my emotions. I was numb to them after being in fight/flight my entire life; I became desensitized to any and almost all emotions that wasn’t anger. Anxiety was my closest friend throughout my life. So, when I discovered TMS after a year of trying to find a solution to my chronic pain, and learned that it was most likely caused from repressed emotions, I thought I was screwed. How do I let these emotions out? Is there a specific emotion that needs to be released? How do I release them? What does it mean to “feel” your emotions? I had lived from the neck up for so long, I don’t know how to drop into my body. It felt so foreign and so scary in and of itself.

Then I had an epiphany moment one day when I was at home having a particularly bad day, feeling bad about my body and the situation I was in. I was honestly tired of feeling so much fear and frustration. I freaked out. I began to cry and rage punch a pillow until I felt like I got all of my anger, frustration and despair out: and I was symptom free for 9 days thereafter. I was in shock. After being in pain every day for a year, I suddenly had a week where I felt 100% “normal”. That entire week, I felt good (not because my symptoms were gone) but because I felt relief from the emotions that had been nagging at me underneath the surface. I had been holding onto so much rage towards past doctors who brushed me off or labeled me a hypochondriac which happened a lot in my search for answers. So, when I broke down, all that resentment, despair and anger came flooding out of me and the symptoms were suddenly gone the next day and would stay away for over a week. That is… until I got into an argument with my partner and the symptoms came back the next day: I had fallen back into repression over the conflict. I held back my emotions as I had with everything else and it made me realize that for the first time, I had felt my emotions and the by product of allowing myself to express/feel them was my brain turning off the symptoms as it didn’t need to protect me anymore. I had let those “dangerous” emotions out and my brain turned off the symptoms as they weren’t necessary anymore in that moment. The symptoms basically lost their purpose.

now, before any of you go off and start punching pillows, I am here to say you do not need to take that route! You can do this another way that is less catastrophic to your couch cushions or bed pillows.

How to feel your emotions (my method. Alter this to fit your needs or what feels right for you!):

Step 1. Find a private place where you can do this. Take a moment and ask yourself how you are feeling. If this is difficult for you, you can do this while journaling to help nudge your emotions to make an appearance. Pause and assess yourself for any possible emotions you might be feeling.

Step 2. If/when you feel the sensation of emotions arising, DO NOT try to hold them back. Let them come forward. Allow them to be present with you. Fight the urge to want to push them away or be fearful of them.

Step 3. Notice where you are feeling this emotion. For me, when I feel sad, I’ll first feel this tingling in my nose that will spread from my nose into my cheeks and eyes, my throat gets tight, then tears will begin to form. Or, if I am feeling grief, I will feel a tightening in my chest and stomach along with the sadness sensations. If I feel anger, I will feel my face and chest get hot, and my chest will tingle, get really warm and constrict. You’re looking for physical sensations as emotions are just that, physical sensations.

Step 4. Feel the sensations of your emotions. DON’T THINK ABOUT THEM. Resist the urge to create a meaning behind why you’re feeling these emotions, just let them stand on their own. Experience them. Explore them. Then when you feel ready, release them. It’s basically like doing somatic tracking. Become comfortable with them. This could take as little or as long as you want to allow the emotion to pass through you. It doesn’t have to be a lot or overwhelming. You don’t need one big cathartic release. Even just a small twinge at first is perfect.

Resist the urge to be intense with this. Just let it happen organically. Whatever comes will come.

Step 5. Show yourself compassion thereafter. Give yourself a hug. Show yourself some love for doing this for your nervous system. Bring yourself back to center and be proud of yourself for doing this work.

Step 6. Repeat whenever you feel the desire to do so.

This is how I have been training my subconscious brain to know that emotions are safe!

Also! Don’t do this solely for the intention of getting out of pain. Do it for your nervous system, do it to better your emotional and mental health. Symptoms will resolve as a by product of you doing the emotional work and reducing your fear of emotions and symptoms. Once you’re able to express and release your emotions and show your brain that it’s safe to do so, it won’t have a need to create symptoms as a danger signal anymore to protect you from them! I hope this all made sense.

If repressed emotions is what lead us here, it makes sense that we should learn to be safe with them for our long term mental, emotional and physical health. ❤️

I truly hope this helps someone!

Happy healing to you!