Day 10 Trying to accept

Its my first post here, i actually wanted to post on Day 1 but i was a bit shy.

I really try to accept it is TMS but it is so hard for me. I have depression and physical pain on my neck and shoulder and my right arm snice a couple of moonths. I went to doctors but my back is fine only with normal degeneration and intervertrebal discs, i am 28 years old and from germany. I have also numbness in my right finger.
The thing is, that all of those pains started if i do what i love to do. I cant run anymore because my neck hurts after that so much that i won´t wanna run anymore. My finger and my back hurts so much when i am working whole day on a PC or playing games. Lying down in bed hurts my back when i watch Netflix or a movie in TV.
Doing things with my friends is not possible because of lockdown and thats not good either for my situation.

I started to read about TMS about a half a year ago and i had hope. I read all Sarnos books and tried to believe and actually stopped taking meds and all of that stuff. I was running again and it felt so good i had no more pain but months later the pain came back. And it came back harder than ever before. I couldnt stand anymore and had to sit etc., because i didnt cure my repressed emotions ? I think i only tried to be happy and not finding the actual problems i have could it that be ?

Now i am on Day 10 and i am not the person who cries a lot and now like everyday i am crying and feeling something is not ok inside of me but that pain emotionally is even harder than my physical pain.
Its like i just do things for deflection.

Sorry for my bad english its not my native language.

 

Hi, willkommen.

It's good to cry. It's a form of release. It's a start, you'll feel better. Can you exercise in a different way? Yoga? QiGong? Walking? See your friends on Zoom/Skype? Grow a garden on the balcony? Go to psychotherapy for depression, maybe might be helpful? Or meditate a few minutes, or listen to some uplifting music. Clean your room, buy some flowers...something, anything to make you feel a little bit better. Just some ideas...

Alles gute und tschuess.

 

You are not alone. Du bist nicht allein. Every person who reads your post on this forum feels for you, understands what you are going through, has you in their heart.

Your English is pretty good actually.

Everything will get better. You will find your way.

 

Muscle spasms and tension hurt due to stress. It's tempting to sit for a long time but a lot of variety actually takes your mind off of it. Stand up, walk around, and stretch more. Make time for self care. Talk to your friends online and take some walks outside with protection.

 

Each day brings new healing. May the peace and comfort from God surround you during your time of recovery. Get well soon, mate!

 

That is why Sarno's partner Stanley Coen described the pain as a DEFENSE. It's there to distract you against perceived painful or embarrassing emotions. This is why it is so important to learn what is going on, how it's happening and why. As we raise our awareness, the distraction isn't working anymore and goes away....and we are healed.

 

Thank you all for your kind answers.