Day 17 Update & the experience of compassion

So my back pain has disappeared, the all over body burning comes and goes, but my pelvic pain has returned with a vengeance. At times I can laugh at this because I can see that my brain is really trying hard to keep me distracted with pain. I struggle on and off with thinking psychologically, but I just had to write about my journaling today.

I decided to write a dialogue with my pelvis. It seemed strange at first, but as the pelvis was telling me about how much it loves me and just wants to protect me from feeling heartbroken, sadness, anger, fear, etc., I suddenly felt compassion for my pelvis and the rest of my body. Instead of hatred and anger at these body parts, I feel love and compassion for what they are trying to do for me. I continued to write that perhaps that strategy worked in the past, but I am now wanting to feel the emotions and although they may be strong at times, I want to accept them, feel them and then release them. I want to be united in body, mind and spirit and not split into different entitites. I feel a little resistance from my pelvis and body with this desire, but also that they want to trust me and that I need to continue to remind them of my desire to feel the emotions, etc. (Wow, this seems so "out there" but maybe, just maybe, there is starting to be a connection between my body, my mind and my spirit? I am trying not to overthink this, but to feel... Consequently, my spirits have lifted a bit after my journaling. )

Julie

 

Hi, JulieB. This is wonderful. Thanks for sharing your experience talking to your pelvis, feeling compassion for it and the rest of your body, and finding relief. A great example of connection between Mindbody and Spirit. The more compassion we can feel about ourselves and our symptoms, the more we will heal. Say hi to your pelvis from me! Tell it we all like you and we like it, too. haha

 

I'm glad I read this ( and you wrote it!) The ideas of dialoguing and then showing compassion for the body part. My butt/ leg are just trying to help me and here I've been hating on them. Now I will br much more understanding with them. Thanks!

 

DogPound 3, I have to be honest, I felt rather weird writing to my pelvis, but while I was writing, I felt this "shift". People talk about this ever-elusive "shift", and I finally experienced it. For me, at that time, it meant an almost immediate lightening and lessening of pain and a feeling of love and compassion for my pelvis, instead of hatred and anger. I am sad to report that this shift lasted only a day, however, it gives me hope that as I hit on these emotional buttons (still don't know the main trigger yet), that these "shifts" will happen more often and last longer. I TOTALLY get your anger and hatred for our hurting body parts. I find myself there often and continue to talk to myself. Dammit, I just want to run!!!! However, I am trying really hard to change my mindset to one of curiousity and an open attitude of learning from what my body is trying to tell me. It took me years to get to this point, so unlearning bad thinking patterns will not be overnight (although I pray for a spontaneous healing!). Best wishes to you on your healing journey!

 

JulieB, unlearning crappy thinking patterns is the key, it seems to me. Or replacing them with healthier thinking patterns. It seems to be a skill that has to be learned -- definitely not automatic, at least for me. I have done this successfully in other areas of my life. It was easier than doing it for my pain, my body. But I'm trying to use the same techniques, since they did work before. Takes some focus and some persistence. And a kind of refusal to allow discouragement to dissuade me.