Watching The Symptoms

Don't mind me, I'm just going to babble here for a moment.

I am currently in the throws of quite a flare. I have been diagnosed with "pudendal neuralgia" and "vulvodynia" and my main troublesome symptom now is itching all along my pelvic floor from my pubic bone to my tailbone. It honestly feels like I sat on poison ivy some days and on other days, it feels like I am being poked by needles, and on others I have zero symptoms at all. This symptom is a step up from my original symptoms however considering I used to have burning, numbness, coldness, sunburn sensations, rawness and sensations of bizarre pressures down there. The itching, I can live with. It's simply irritating. Lol. Which makes total sense because it crops up when I feel irritated by the world around me.

I am taking this opportunity to see how the symptoms behave as they jump and move in around my pelvis. It moves from front to back and left and right. It is intensifying and then dulling out. It's so intriguing to me because there are days where I will have zero symptoms and feel totally normal and then I will flare and it feels as though I have some sort of infection (though I never do; I have been tested so many times). My brain is deeming something as a threat and I am sure I am flaring because I was mildly annoyed by people at work today; or really, I was annoyed with BEING at work today. It could also be happening because I told myself I need to lose weight; or the fact that my mother and sister, who live far away and I don't see often, just left my house today after a weekend visit and I will miss them. Or I am flaring because my new walking pad just came in the mail and I had planned to exercise on it tonight. Or all of the above. My brain probably deems all of this as a threat and is trying to tell me to go lay down and rest after a long day.

It is so funny what kinds of thoughts the brain can find threatening. It could be something as little as a thought you do not logically think is a big deal like "I need to lose a little weight" and my subconscious is like WHOA MAYDAY. And seeing how the symptoms are moving, shifting, coming and going. How could this be anything else but TMS?

 

THIS is one of the most fascinating things to me - brain takes one little thought and away we gooooooooo! I'm on to it more and more though and sounds like you are too.
That awareness is like shining a bright spotlight into the darkness and the more light, the more the thoughts might try to hide in the crevices or under other things or move into new territories!!
Keep shining the light though - being aware/journaling - and letting brain know this is not a 'MAYDAY' situation ....and keep on going! ❤️