Week 2 day 10

Well today the program asked me to talk about a particular person I hide my emotions from. Although I think it would be better if I talk about two people that I hide my emotions from....my parents. There is so much emotion which I hide from them. The pain I feel for the lives which they currently lead. Cause I know that neither of them are happy. I want to tell them how much I love them but it just feels like a slightly weird thing to do? I spend a lot of time with my dad working. We talk about pretty general things. But yea I just want him to know that I love him very much and I want to know more about him. The same applies for my Mum. I hardly ever see her and when I do I feel as if she's trying to shower me in gifts! I don't know I guess I just want to feel a little bit more connected to my parents emotionally as well as having them know that I feel connected to them and that there not just there as a some type of revenue source. Just bought a car so gonna road trip it up to see my mum.

 

Well - their lives have taken twists and turns. Like yours. Like everyone. There is a difference between "empathy" and "sympathy". And empathy is a little healthier. Sympathy will keep you tied to them emotionally, whereas empathy lets you sit outside that emotional place.

Not at all. If you are uncomfortable with telling them in words, then why not write to them? Just working with your dad will show your love for him. Do you have a good time? Do you like being together? Chances are if you like it, your dad will too.

The gifts are most likely her way of showing you she loves you and also that she is thinking of you. Tell her if it makes you uncomfortable and that you simply want to spend time with her.

Hope this helps.

BG

 

Hi Edward. I see nothing wrong with telling them how you feel! I would love to hear that from my son (though he does say it back when I say it to him--I am grateful for that).

It is possible they would like to be closer with you as well, but aren't sure how to go about making that happen. Or perhaps you could start by asking questions about their pasts, parents, events while growing up.

Or you could write either/both of them a feelings letter, and then decide if you want to give it to them, or even tell them in person instead.

How do you feel about these ideas? I have more but thought I'd stop there!

Do you know why you hide your feelings from them?

Best wishes,
Lori