I don't know why I can't wrap my head around this. I fully admit that my pain is never very bad. And I'm not physically limited in any way. There's a mild to moderate cramp in my neck all the time. That's it. And yet somehow this has become the end of the world for me, that it's there at all. It's confusing really. On the one hand I'm grateful that the pain isn't worse, on the other hand it's disorienting and actually makes me feel guilty to be so overcome, to wallow in, what is relatively speaking a minor symptom. My brain has just put all the eggs in this basket. I don't know if it's a distraction, or emblematic of all the suffering, or magnified by focus, or all of the above, or what. But I hate this sensation with the energy of a thousand suns. And on your last point, I have a message from Schubiner right now that I haven't opened yet because I'm "saving" it ... hoping it will be reassuring and will pull me out of the darkness. And I can also see that his and my email chain is more than 150 messages long. And you won't be surprised to know that all of my messages have been essentially the same thing rewritten. ... sounds like OCD huh?