Day 8 what triggers my pain

I think fear of not being good enough plays a huge role in triggering my symptoms. Not being a good enough friend, guitar player, brother, son, not being good enough at recovering from TMS so and so forth (and the list goes on). The most notable amount of pain occurs when I practice guitar. Its not there all the time and to be honest I'm not exactly sure how often it is there. Sometime pain will occur when I am trying to rush something or when I am not fully involved in what I am doing. Like this morning I was reading my book and it was a boring part. I didn't know whether it was me or this part of the book was a bit boring and my arms started hurt. To be completely honest I am still working out what my triggers are. All I know is when it happens I am not relaxed at mentally as well as physically. Last night I had a mean jam on my guitar though. Was trying to nut something out and I thought about a recent gig I had played and how the vocalist from another band totally rocked the stage. He wasn't the best singer but it looked like he enjoyed every moment regardless of any mistakes or shortcoming. It was as if he was thinking this is awesome I am awesome I rock! So I took those ideas to my guitar last night and had a real mean blap.

 

Oh, preach it, my friend! Not being good enough is a HUGE one for me! I think it affects everyone to some degree, but especially those of us involved in music and art. I'm a professional costume designer and an amateur musician. Learning about TMS has been life changing for me. One of the last things I tried after my pain had been mostly gone for a few weeks was playing violin. I was afraid to try in case the pain would still come. My bow arm shoulder used to hurt SO much and I had a lot of tension all over. It's really gotten a lot better and I'm able to practice for longer and longer.

Just the realization that our subconscious mind has physical tricks up its sleeve has been extremely helpful to me. I already knew that sleepiness and hunger could come as a result of stress and procrastination, but I'm so glad to know that pain is often one of those tricks, too. I'm just glad to know about it, even if it takes me the rest of my life to fully conquer it. The knowledge keeps it from having such a stranglehold on me.

 

Yep the knowledge is so good to know cause its like hey its actually possible for me to do what I love and you learn more about yourself in the process which I reckon gives what ever your doing a lot more meaning. Glad to hear your back on the violin. Such a beautiful instrument! About the not being good enough. I realize I have invested a lot of my self worth into how good I am at the things I do. That means I am having to earn my own love which shouldn't be the case at all. Of course I still want to set out and achieve the things i want to do but well keeping in mind that i am already an amazing person regardless. Watched scary alien abduction movie (dark skies) ( I didn't sleep all night afterwards cause I kept hearing noises and thought they were aliens!then when I fell i sleep i would immediately wake back up :S) and the husband and wife had to work so hard to earn each others love and respect. In the end the parents had to accept each others shortcomings and just show trust and love in each other just to protect their family. Really good film. Although I do not recommend sleeping home alone after watching it...