Day 16 Who have you told about TMS?

Since starting this program have you told anyone about your condition and TMS? Why or Why not? If you have how did they react?
---------------------------------------

I haven't told many people because most of the people I know reject anything that involves the mind. They simply believe you can will yourself past anything and wouldn't be able to understand what I am going through.

I did however tell my cousin, who is not only a lawyer but professionally positive. She's the most empowering person I know, unlike most of my family and friends. She had no idea of the extent of my back pain and as I told her what I thought about it and the TMS diagnosis, she was kind of speechless. She knew that I had taken a two and a half year medical leave from school but she didn't really know what my day-to-day was like. When I told her, she said something I'll never forget. It went something like this, over the course of some back and forth between us. I'm putting it all together though, as I remember it:

Last fall when you returned to school, you made the Dean's List for the first time in law school. You missed huge chunks of class time and didn't even complete most of the foundational readings. You are telling me that you were in pain on a daily basis and even had a panic attack that resulted in a breakout of hives. Still you managed to perform better than most of your classmates, at a fraction of your true potential. I don't see why you need to fear law school. It's clear you can do this and if the origin of all this pain is stress, maybe you just keep pushing ahead and you'll get past this because you know you can. You already have.

---------------------

I try to keep in mind what she said because she's right. All this stress associated with law school is more a remnant of my first experiences with it. It's functionally obsolete.

 

I have really told no one yet. I did tell my husband that I figured out stress was why I have been feeling so bad, but did not mention TMS. Not ready to defend my beliefs to anyone yet. Waiting for them to see the proof that's in the pudding so to speak. Glad Rajput21 that you are figuring all this stuff out. Your cousin is exactly right. Part of our problem is that we feel like we have to justify our beliefs to others. I am finding how self imposed this has been for me. You will come out a better attorney from this experience for sure.

 

This is such a fantastic point! I'd never considered it before but it means a lot to me. My inner devil's advocate is always churning away, intellectualizing everything and making me insecure in my own beliefs. It's not always possible to have 'hard science' or bright-line proof for something, but that doesn't mean it's not valid. This community is a testament to that. Thanks!