Day 10 Who I hide my emotions from

I hide my emotions from almost everyone except my husband and a few very close friends. Even with my friends I censor what I say.

What prevents me from sharing my emotions? I don't want to be vulnerable. I'm afraid they will think I'm weak, needy, unlikeable, stupid or nuts! Part of me doesn't think they would care about my feelings, although I know that isn't really true. I also don't like to impose on people. I have a few friends who have often shared really heavy emotions with me at great length, and I have sometimes felt totally drained of energy and used (as their therapist). So I don't want to do this to anyone. I have a few friends who seem emotionally fragile, so I spare them. I also fear that once I start talking about how I feel, the floodgates will open and I will lose control.

I have a tendency to keep most people at arm's length and use humor to express my feelings.

 

Hi Lilibet, I can totally relate to what you have written about yourself. On another thread that you have posted on, I have mentioned Brene Brown and her views on perfectionism. She also writes about vulnerability. I got a lot from various talks and interviews she has done ((look on youtube). Rather than trying to explain myself, it is far better to listen to her. I don't know if I can ever change, but at least I now know HOW I would like to change. Even, posting on this site, was a big step for me! I am normally such a private person.

 

I will definitely listen to more of Brene Brown, Sheree. As I mentioned on the other thread, I loved her TED talk, so I will head over to YouTube. Knowing how you want to change is the first step, I think. And if we are perfectionists, we want it NOW! I keep telling myself that healing 67 years of "stuff" is going to be a very gradual process. So, yay us for posting even when it isn't comfy!

 

How right you are. I originally heard of Brene Brown on this site. JanAtheCPA posted about The Self Acceptance Project (just google ). There are a number of videos on this that are very good, but it was the Brene one that blew me away.