Withdrawals or TMS

For sleep I was taking 3.75mg of mirtazipine for a few months then dropped to 1.2mg for a couple of months. A tiny dose. I then stopped this week and feel burning all over my skin. My skin is so sensitive. I feel crazy irritable. I feel hot then cold then hot. I lost my appetite. I feel nauseated. I feel like death. Do you think this is withdrawals or more TMS symptoms which I've had lots recently. I was only taking a small dose and wondering why I feel so ill from going cold turkey from 1.2mg. Has any of you taken mirtazipine and withdrew? What was your experiences?

An interesting phenomenon I also experienced in the last few months is that sometimes my autonomic breathing would just stop and I'd start to feel suffocated. I then need to consciously breath. This is the most strange TMS symptom I've experienced and I've read it's part of dysautonomia which is TMS.

 

Mike,

Claire Weekes says lots of people with disregulated nervous systems are afraid they will stop breathing. But this isn’t possible. Your breathing is controlled automatically without your power— based on your carbon dioxide levels in your blood. To prove this, she says hold your breath and see if you can keep yourself from breathing. It’s not possible; your automatic breathing system will take over.

I feel like what’s really going on here is your TMS brain is trying to distract you with these various fears and symptoms. I would explore how you feel emotionally. But also Claire Weekes talks about how when you are so sensitized from a nervous disorder (which is what you have), everything is magnified. Every thought and every physical feeling is magnified. So it’s easy to latch onto these things and add what she calls “second fear.” The fear you add to the strange sensations that you feel is what makes them bigger— because adrenaline kicks in and actually makes the symptoms bigger.

(This is all found in Hope and Help for your Nerves.)

Don’t be afraid! Everything’s going to be OK.

 

Mike, I think you answered your own question. This sounds like 100% TMS. Obviously I’m not an MD but you were on such a small dose, the odds of the cessation producing this degree of symptoms is so minuscule, especially considering you have already followed a strict weaning schedule.

the TMS brain is always on the lookout for threats, this perceived threat of stopping a medication and subsequent fear of ‘withdrawals’ is enough to produce anxiety that could be interpreted as withdrawal symptoms.

you’ve already fought half the battle in being aware that this is likely TMS, now it is time to accept that you’re just in a flare due to a life change and accept like all the others it will pass. When in doubts inner kindness and pride at your resilience is a good place to start.

and I have no experience with mirtazapine, but I did somewhat foolishly stop a low dose of amitriptyline cold turkey. Ran out and had no insurance, lol. I wasn’t TMS aware at the time, but I drove myself crazy thinking my stopping the medication was causing my stomach issues ( was TMS).

 

Yes, indeed, I'm aware that it's not possible to stop breathing but the games my mind is playing on me is staggering. When I look back at my life I see an unhappy childhood but the trauma from my younger days does not align with the severity of the suffering I'm going through right now. It feels as if I've just come back from several years in a war zone where I witnessed the bloody deaths of my comrades. The pains I'm feeling are so severe that I got a prescription for low dose naltroxone. It makes me sad because such drugs are just going to poison my wonderful body. I am upset that my mind has forced this decision on me. I'm trying to find a way to be at peace with my mind but that is proving very hard to do. My pre-frontal cortex is trying to negotiate with my amygdala but nothing. It's like being in a relationship with a partner who does not listen. I feel as if I'm living in an abusive relationship everyday of my life. I allow the abuse then engage in life ... rinse and repeat a few hundred times a day. I'm emotionally drained and tired from it all like all abusive relationships. I know the TMS theory is that the symptoms are just alarms for my protection which is on the ON switch but that doesn't placate my feelings of frustration. I'm writing this as a journal entry to my mind as I hope by writing this it will accept the truth that I am safe and not in danger. Dear mind, please consider the above, my body is strong and resilient. We've both met dozens of doctors and had all sorts of tests. With the exception of colitis, I am healthy. I go to the gym, do yoga, drive etc ... if my body was severely sick I'd struggle with all this and would probably be dead by now or in hospital care. I am not in danger now as you can see. There's so much I have to live for but the pains are making life very difficult for me to enjoy the pleasures of this world. You're setting of so many alarms ... in the most severe way possible ... but I can assure you that all is well. Please consider turning off the alarms and lets move on from the era in my life to pastures new. I don't fear you as I know your symptoms are non life threatening but they make me unhappy and unhappiness may lead to cancers, heat disease etc. I don't want to die young and neither do you so lets make peace with the body. I wave a white flag of peace to you and I hope you can join me as we walk down the path of love and peace. Much love, Mike.

 

You’re doing the work, brother. Just hang tight. You will get the healing you seek. But maybe not at the speed you want.