Y'all, I started eating gluten & dairy again & my life didn't fall apart, what!?

**Note: I posted this in the Structured Education Forum and was encouraged to copy it here since it's a "food success" of sorts. Although I'm still early on in the program and in my TMS exploration and healing, I believe it's important to celebrate all kinds of victories.**

Whaaaaat!? Thanks to fellow member Archie's post as well as hours of internet digging, looking at old lab test results, and many more hours of self talk I NERVOUSLY went and got a cheeseburger (fitting first meal eh?). Annnnd my low back did not explode in a cycle of muscle spasm and shooting nerve pain that will last for months on end like it used to do when I ate what I "wasn't supposed to eat". In fact, it's been almost a week and nothing has happened at all. I'm recognizing that that my supposed food sensitivities I've believed I've had for years are in fact my own conditioning. Part of me is starting to question how much of the food sensitivities people have (feels like food issues are running rampant these days for people), have to do with conditioning from fear/TMS type stuff...? Food for thought I guess.

Which brings me to my Day 8 update. This is wonderful news- no longer do I need to live in constant fear of eating certain things and cross contamination. No longer do I have to be THAT person who people hate to go out to eat with because of my restrictions, no longer do I have to pay premiums on pricy GF & DF substitutes that don't taste half as good, no longer do I have to not try things or be able to get a quick bite out or cook all my own stuff to be sure I'm safe, and no longer do I have to explain to people my life story when they ask why I can't eat this or that. This is literally a huge life shift for me.

However, I'm feeling a lot of shame. To be honest, I feel pretty dumb that I made this correlation when none existed. That it took over my life as just another manifestation of TMS. Hindsight is 20/20 and I feel so silly now looking back but I'm trying to remember how desperate I was to do anything to get rid of the pain. I remember when I gave up the foods I felt SO MUCH BETTER so it was solidified in my mind that those foods were the cause of my pain. Now I can see it was just one more distraction my mind was trying to give me, one more thing to focus on so I wouldn't have to deal with the rage/sadness/etc. It was a placebo effect and it did it's job.

And now I'm wondering how do I explain it to people- friends, family, coworkers- when they see me eating things I had sworn off? Foods I spent so much time explaining to them how toxic they were for me. How big of a deal I made it. It's embarrassing and although I don't want to lie to anyone, I don't think I should have to tell the world my TMS story if I don't want to or am not ready to. Especially since it is an ongoing story.

 

I went through the same exact thing after telling people I could no longer drink certain beverages (alcohol, caffeine, anything with sugar), partake in activities such as vaping, etc. I just told everyone that my nervous system was very sensitive for a little while, but my doctors were able to help me get back on track, and I've slowly been reintroducing everything back in my life. Everyone was happy for me, and I was happy because I didn't have to share anything that was overly personal. And I wasn't lying.

Nobody has really pressed for further details as to why my nervous system is sensitive, but my close friends and family know I have a connective tissue disorder that sensitizes it. They understand that stress magnifies the sensitivity by a million! If I didn't want to be quite as open with someone, I'd simply just say I was sick for a little bit, and my body required time as well as the care of doctors to recuperate. People are generally very respectful when it comes to my private health information.

You definitely don't have to tell the world your TMS story!

 

Hopefully my friends, family, and coworkers will be as respectful and understanding as yours were! Thanks for the advice. I'm so glad to hear that you've had similar successes with reintroduction of foods etc. It's such a relief to not have to live in constant worry that something I eat will set me off and cause me to end up bedridden for a week. I want to be open and honest with everyone at some point, but now is just not the time as I'm still so early in my journey. Thank you for the support!

 

SO my story as well!!! I have posted on a couple of discussions here as well. It is very difficult indeed to tell people about this. It's almost embarrassing that it's so simple in a sense. But I have a lot more courage now that I have dealt with this personally. We will continue to share our successes to encourage others. Onward!

 

YES! So familiar! Good for you!!!

 

Dear friends, good morning to you I wanted to ask you in particular about a complex issue

I wanted to consult him, since I cannot solve this problem .... stress due to calorie restriction can cause pain in my body, since I lost a lot of weight I have come with pain that I cannot identify with MRI or anything , massages do not work, nothing at all but my discomfort continues, could it be due to lack of calories or low weight? I have been with these discomforts for 2 years, I had eating disorders such as anorexia and bulimia, I do sports I always move but I wanted to know if the lack of weight in my body can cause that, if it causes anxiety and with them are my symptoms in my back, I do not know if it has to do with food or not ... but it is something that I cannot decipher. I have seen doctors, performed acupuncture and nothing works .... my discomfort is there

the symptoms of my back are always on the right side, low area, the doctors checked me and there is nothing wrong with my lumbar, everything is perfect but my pain is still there. restricting my body from calories can cause anxiety and with it pain? This pain appeared in December 2017 and I am still with it.


I attach pictures so you can see where my pain is. Thanks for your help. I expect a prompt response. I have read the books on J. Sarno, I practice sports, meditation and write in a newspaper every day. But I still haven't resolved my symptoms.



Can all my back symptoms be generated by anxiety about feeling hungry?

 

i can tell you from my experience that anxiety can cause most ANYTHING! i realized in my long journey with gut issues that the endless culdesac from hell around food...how much...what kind...what are fads and what are real concerns...doesn't matter what the loop is about, it's the loop itself that is self perpetuating. i just started separating my thoughts when any of it comes up. i deal with the anxiety alone, even if my thoughts (fear) about food brings it on. i don't allow my mind to relate the anxiety to food or the food to anxiety. Iow, when i eat and have any pain, i do not consider the food as the cause... you have to recognize and neutralize the cause/effect cycle because in those crucial moments, our minds will AUTOMATICALLY go into the cause/effect loop. we have to force the mind to separate the two and know emphatically that the REAL cause is tms...simply because it IS. i have significantly improved my digestive issues. i am now eating what i want...still healthy eating as always. i have only just begun to gain a little of my weight back, but i am on the right path now i am certain. i am also "feeding" myself with as much love and tenderness as i would a baby. our bodies are asking for that and the more we do that, the better things get. i feel empowered. you can do it, too!

 

Thank you very much for answering! Any advice you can get here in this community is really helpful.

I weighed 73kg then to follow fad diets I lost kilos and was 60kg and then I began to want to regain all the weight lost, but I could never do it. I have 2 years with a lot of stress for it and even following diets.

Do you think I should start eating more, not follow any diet, try new foods and with it my physical pain will go away? My pain allows me to train, work and have a normal life. It is not a pain that paralyzes me, but it is a dull pain that lives with me.

my doubt is the anxiety generated by wanting to eat and not doing it, can it generate all my chronic physical symptoms?

What should I do to eat more?

I must eat all kinds of food to recover.

Sometimes I think that if I returned to my normal weight all my physical pain would go away. but I'm not sure about it, fear can also generate my physical pain

 

Thank you very much for answering! Any advice you can get here in this community is really helpful.

I weighed 73kg then to follow fad diets I lost kilos and was 60kg and then I began to want to regain all the weight lost, but I could never do it. I have 2 years with a lot of stress for it and even following diets.

Do you think I should start eating more, not follow any diet, try new foods and with it my physical pain will go away? My pain allows me to train, work and have a normal life. It is not a pain that paralyzes me, but it is a dull pain that lives with me.

my doubt is the anxiety generated by wanting to eat and not doing it, can it generate all my chronic physical symptoms?

What should I do to eat more?

I must eat all kinds of food to recover.

Sometimes I think that if I returned to my normal weight all my physical pain would go away. but I'm not sure about it, fear can also generate my physical pain

 

not sure why you wanted to lose and then wanted to regain. neither of those weights sound bad to me, not to the point of being unhealthy anyway. i had to stop thinking and believing that i am TOO THIN. that was ongoing anxiety for me as there are some pretty serious things that can cause weight loss. however, i finally gave up judging my weight and decided that my body is doing exactly what it needs to do to maintain homeostasis. i found that taking food so seriously was the main issue for me. too much analyzing and no enjoyment/pleasure. we should enjoy eating...it's fundamental to our survival. i suggest catching and quickly dismissing your thoughts around weight. so what. it's just a number. if you eat in a healthy way...i'm assuming you aren't going to be pounding back ice cream and cheeseburgers, lol...and get out of the way with all the self-judgement, it will seek its own balance. anytime you want to do something and deprive yourself, or you don't want to do something and force yourself, you create anxiety. no matter what it is. the less attention you put on thinking something is a "problem", the less your mind needs to protect you, thus less pain until there is no pain. spend as much time as you can loving your body, thanking your body, assuring it that it is safe and you are taking good care of it. personally, i would say no to diets. that just puts attention on the issue. hope this helps.

 

So you think that I should eat and give my body what it asks me for is that moment, and achieve the balance of eating healthy for both my mind and my body, if my body asks me for an apple to give it and if my body gives me ask for an ice cream also give it to him, because that would not generate anxiety or pressure to my mind. So I must seek to enjoy food more and not diet more. With that the pain will go away, do you think?

in summary I should:
1: eating healthy for my mind and body means being able to enjoy a salad but also enjoy a pizza.

2: no longer look at a number on the scale.

3: no more dieting and enjoy eating well and playing sports.

All those points would make my physical pain disappear?

 

your summary sounds right on to me. as soon as we stop looking for ANY causes other than our mind being in a disagreeable state (arguing with itself), the pain has no reason to stick around. pain is kinda there as a referee...when there is an argument in your head (should i eat this/shouldn't i eat this), when you are weighing the pros and cons and critically evaluating eating a slice of pizza, a distraction (pain is most useful) is sometimes safer than the emotions that that argument with yourself is creating. relax. eat intuitively. don't deprive yourself and don't over indulge. you know the difference.