Nanell

I just joined this site last month and am happy to see that there is a forum to share and vent TMS stories. My body has been playing all the greatest hits in the last week—IBS, interstitial cystitis, sleep issues, ocular migraine, various aches and pains and some new ones which have cropped up lately—top-of-the-head headache, tooth sensitivity, reflux—things I hadn’t had before. I’ve been fighting a cold or some kind of sinus bug and on top of that weaning off of Buspirone, an anti-anxiety drug that my kind doctor thought would help. It doesn’t seem to have done anything for anxiety in the past 2 months but has produced a number of questions about what’s causing what in the way of symptoms. I’ve also had a long-time phobia about taking blood pressure which seems to intensify whenever something in my body is “off.” I think it all goes back to a fear or at least suspicion of doctors and the medical field and what they might do to me, although I certainly go regularly and have found some very kind and helpful providers who have identified me as a slow metabolizer with multiple sensitivities to pharmaceuticals which could also explain why I dread medical intervention. I think I was born with lots of environmental sensitivities and the classic TMS detailed, conscientious, goodist personality that Sarno and others have defined. To complicate matters, when I was 5, my mother died in the hospital from an undiscovered blood clot, and the stepmother I got after that was very sickly, spending much of each year in the hospital with ulcerative colitis and other maladies. I’m 72 now, so no longer looked at as an illness anxiety or hypochondria candidate! Anything can happen in “old age”?! Ha The hard part is trying to decipher what’s real and what’s TMS. I’m working with a CBI therapist these days and trying to label sensations as “different” rather than disastrous, but it’s a slow adjustment. She constantly reminds me that I am a vibrantly healthy person—great bloodwork every time, no serious health problems, and after a busy occupational career, am a productive, traveling, active wife, mother, grandmother, archivist and community volunteer. Hopefully I can get better at discriminating between TMS generated symptoms and those that really need medical attention and then accept diagnostics/intervention with less anxiety.