seeker

TMS: I had severe wrist pain in both hands, burning foot pain, both legs pain, pins and needles, and numbness. Medical doctors diagnosed me with Idiopathic small fiber neuropathy(simply means we don't know the reason for the pain)/Tarsal Tunnel syndrome/Reynaud's syndrome. Reading Dr Sarno’s books and TMS therapy sessions, self-affirmations helped me to slowly cure all the physical pain. Doctor's don't know how the pain all went away. From not being able to steer my car’s steering wheels, unable lift a grocery bag to now taking push-ups/pull-ups/lifting up heavy stuff now for several years. But immediately after getting rid of the physical pains the anxiety (due to insecurity - more details below) shot up with great strength and that look to be the real issue that TMS pains were trying to mask. Now I am suffering from this raw emotional pain for several years with very little relief from therapies

My Past:

Insecurity stemming from childhood and adolescent experiences of lacking reassuring support and my small built. I severely lacked self-esteem and confidence. I kept it to myself and did not mingle with class mates. If at all I did, then, I was a people pleaser. I wouldn’t dare to upset anyone.

Adulthood chronic issues:
1.My subconscious mind has been highly protective of me throughout my life. It develops limiting beliefs based on stress inducing experiences such as a tight deadline solving a complex software issue or writing a long documentation task. Once it feels insecure, I feel a dread, lower abdomen muscle constricts(IBS-C), and it records this physical and emotional reaction and simply replays it even while facing mildly challenging tasks and makes my daily life miserable. But for my mind, it is simply trying to protect me.
2. My mind can’t handle conflicts easily
It becomes highly restless and anxious if it knows or assumes (sometimes due to cognitive distortion) if somebody is unhappy with me or have a bad impression on me. It would immediately want to solve that either by explaining/apologizing/or even by confronting their belief. It feels insecure and upset or at times even angry.

It tries to have me around people that it presumes that are not a threat to me such as under its assumption who are not challenging its security. Eg: people who are not confrontational, not well built (physically or emotionally) and highly confident.

Physical impacts:
Anxiety, worry, depression(mild), unable to enjoy life, unable to have sound sleep, lack of concentration, forgetfulness, looking for others acceptance, lower abdominal spasm and pain, muscle tightness in neck

I feel that the cure for this issue is just around the corner. I am struggling to find it for several years now after having tried with traditional therapies... I will keep updating the progress..