Vasilisa

Hello, I need to join this forum cause the injuries and accidents that were happening to me since last June are more than simple coincidence or bad luck or a curse. I injured with cleanings my rotator cuff...of course i freaked out... I saw doctor in lithuania who prescribed ibuprofen 400 - I then i took ibuprofen for 9 days and when i stopped it - back and neck pains were from hell - i was freaking out and this state from then became permanent ! When pains calmed - I myself figured out that i ve got frozen shoulder from torn rotator cuff tendons- at this point I was introduced to J.Sarno work and groundbreaking research ! But I kinda put it aside cause frozen shoulder needed to heal and would not resolve by what I thought coud be " magical thinking"....
I was scared that other arm will freeze and i saw physiotherapist which injured my good arm with shoulder bursitis and cubital tunnel in my elbow .... i was living at this point with constant nervous breakdown... then again by some bad luck i reinjured my frozen arm with placing wrongly an arm sling- causing me on my frozen shoulder - shoulder and elbow tendinitis...i was at this point destroyed mentaly -
Cause pain from recent injury was there and no J.Sarno video would help me to move my arm without pain...so I again just put aside J.Sarno methode...
In the meanwhileI was
- seeing a medium to remove bad eye and luck and of course i did not help- just at the moment when each my injury seem to get better and be resolved and i would result back to living normal life with healed body another incident would happen..
then anal cancer scare came..just at the moment after 3 months of elbow and shoulder tendinitis- where things really were about to turn the corner ( looking back)... i ve got a scare of anal cancer- it was itch and wet sensation in my anus and boyfried joked that it could be anal cancer- from that moment I red about it and my fear went into another dimension- literally !!!! Having previous non protected relations - I immediayelly put myself at the state where this cancer was for sure there in my life one day... i consulted proctologist who performed anoscopy and gave proctosynalar steroid anal cream for hem , but before i was already heavily using scheriproct prednisone cream given by gynecologist!!! I was feeling not well on these creams but i thought that my condition was gettimg worse...when i stoped proctosynalar- hell broke loose - back - lumbar pains non stop for 1 month, itchimg of almost whole body, mental symptoms giving me cry spells, joining topical steeoid creams withdrawal group confirmed my symptoms and that i was harmed by those creams... after 2 months qhere things seemimgly calmed down- another symptom became obvious- during BM feelimg of passing broken glass and small sharp - I realised anoscopy exam injured me with anal fissure! I was angry , devastated, blaming the world for my misery which made me look like a psycho just by telling my story to anyone....I was reading since yesterday on your forum TMS and anal fissures topics.... of course I ve got the next appointment to reassure myself that anal fissures heal naturally... also the strange thing is that I am now not scared anymore by anal HPV cancerbut more by doctors ...and I do believe that those few testimonies of anal cancer survivors that beated cancer naturally- were better because they took their fear and anxiety under thwir control.....
I also should mention that I am a daughter of a narcissist mother and that I had a nervous breakdown in 2013 - where after short 1 month use of xanax I went into brutal benzo wd - but I am sure that scare component and my narcissistic mother presence played huge role that I was having full blown anxiety and fear - she forced me into psych ward where i was druged out of my mind and by 2015 I was done with my proper taper of psychiatric drugs and currently im 8 years free from those substances....
Also its been 3 months where I stopped my astrology ans tarot cards passion - believing that it brought bad energies into my life....I also was reading and studying before CG Jung which pushed me towards astrology and tarot....
Those coincidences of health scare and injuries are more than simple coincidences and I truly believe that J.Sarno discovery expands beyond aback, tendons and other conditions and can even be applied to cancer...
That s enough for my introduction- cause my anal fissure injury scare and pain are calling me to deql with it....