“Positive” thinking vs social transformation

Article:

https://www.opendemocracy.net/transformation/sonja-avlijas/why-positive-thinking-isn-t-neoliberal (Why positive thinking isn’t neoliberal)

Does anybody else find that “positive” thinking is sometimes just a hoax that’s contributing to TMS?

 

Yes!! Absolutely yes. When some terrible unfortunate event is happening to us, and we talk about it to our friends or family, sometimes we get "positive thinking" advice. But sometimes life isnt happy, fun, and full of rainbow like in fiction movies, this is real life. Sometimes we get sad, sometimes we get frustrated, sometimes we get depressed and anxious, that are all normal and we have to feel the emotions fully instead of fighting it with positive thinking. Breaking up with you bf/gf, you are depressed and someone said positive thinking, you will get a better bf/gf. But its not about getting better bf/gf in the future, its about feeling the sadness emotions fully to let it go, you cant just be positive in any kind of events.

This is related to when Dr. Sarno talk about people who get TMS arent those who cant cope with life difficulty/adversity, but its THOSE who cope too well, meaning they try to have positive thinking attitude all the time that they unconscously repress all kind of negative emotions.

That isnt to say we should feel depressed all the time in our lifetime, it means to learn from past experience, to enjoy the sadness feelings rather than fighting it. If its too burdensome and you cant handle it by yourself, you can try to have a counseling with therapist/psychiatrist. My point is, you cant act with postive thinking attitude all the time, sometimes you need to feel the negative feelings to let it go. The reason many people negative feelings is staying so strong for such a long time isnt because they truly FEEL the emotions, but its because they keep trying to fight and get rid of these negative feelings that instead of the feelings go away, they stay so strong within. Society does a really good job to encourage us not to feel our negative feelings but instead to fight and make it go away every second of the day, and that leads to many mental illness and psychological problems.

 

OH YES! And as a clinician in psychology, I find my field most guilty! Positive Psychology- a way of bullying. It should be out the door along with "Your unresolved anger caused your cancer." Seligman, et al--I don't support them. I think it is OK to get familiar with your own negativity, and find out what it is saying to you. Why is it there? What is it about? Can't just push away a feeling...

 

Oh, it also goes with "he's in a better place now" or "it was God's plan to take your child." All difficult emotions will return throughout life, and the thing is to get more familiar with them, recognize them, and learn bit by bit how to manage.
Oh, once you master these things, it is said that you will die- or move to a different state of being. Not saying that to be snarky. It's just that learning to cope in a mindful way is a lifelong practice.

 

Yes! In fact, one could argue that we shouldn't label emotions as either positive or negative, but simply as emotions. All of them play an important role and it's critical that we allow ourselves to experience and even embrace them. They are trying to tell us something and we should listen.

However, that doesn't mean that our emotions are always telling us the truth. They become intermingled with our thoughts and sometimes don't reflect reality. We are the CEO of our brains and have the ability to redirect our thinking and our focus towards more helpful beneficial paths.

This is a free YouTube series I personally found very helpful in learning how to process my emotions. How to Process Your Emotions: Course Introduction/30 Depression and Anxiety Skills Course - YouTube In particular, the first 7 or 8 videos in the series were really good. But in fairness, it's a 30-part series and I haven't listened to all of them.