Any feedback? Reaction from “The Work”

Last night, I had what I’d call a “good” journalling session. (I’m trying to journal more regularly, and I’m just now getting into a regular practice.) Found some patterns in my history, brought up some emotions and felt them, and tried to process all of this in a direct, honest, and courageous way.

I went to sleep, thinking I accomplished something, and that I’d feel the effects of this in the morning.

Quite the opposite. I woke up feeling horrible; everything I don’t like, magnified two or three times. I got nothing done and I was astonished by the pain.

I’m kind of confused! On one hand, it seems that this is (yet another) point of proof for the TMS connection. I didn’t do anything to create such a violent reaction. That’s good, right? On the other hand, my attempt to “do the work” feels like, this time, it got me deeper in rather than pulling me out. I’m not too enthusiastic to keep journalling as a result.

Does anyone care to weigh in on what’s going on, or share some advice? I predict the answer will be “keep going,” and if you zoom out on the graph this little dip in progress is still on a larger incline, but …. I guess I just need some advice.

 

Hi @anacoluthon33,

What you describe could be 'extinction burst', see https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/day-19-extinction-bursts.16651/ (New Program - Day 19: Extinction Bursts)

That said - and this might be viewed as 'controversial' by some - should you find that your symptoms get worse every time or very often after journaling about stuff from way back when, then you might want to consider not digging up that stuff. Dan Buglio, a TMS coach, who got better after 13 years of debilitating back pain suggests concentrating instead on dealing with the everyday fear and anxiety inducing stuff, allowing yourself to feel your day to day emotions etc. In one of his videos (he posts up a daily video on YouTube and has been doing so for over 2 years, so I'm afraid I can't point you to the exact one I'm thinking of) he said that he spent loads of time digging up and examining - and in so doing reliving - past hurts etc., (he dug up everything he could think of) and all it did was make him feel absolutely awful and his symptoms did not stop until he just concentrated on working on the day to day stuff. Indeed, success stories reported on here by members of the forum haven't always involved an excavation and detailed examination of the past. Dan's YouTube page is here https://www.youtube.com/@PainFreeYou in case it might be of interest to you.

 

I agree with not digging. In my case at least...I get sick of remembering dark and sad things, I refuse to do this to my happy mind. Why would I want to do it over and over again? Nicole Sachs recommends a type of journalling like that, daily. And then she wants you to meditate, after journaling. At least she did this a few years ago, I don't know what her methods are today. I don't agree with this idea, I find meditation after journaling a very bad idea. Just my opinion. Dan's methods and approach are more useful. Again, my opinion.

 

I never journaled and I am completely better. For some people writing down those awful things that they could never admit, is a way of discharging disavowed emotions. It can be a great tool in that sense and it's free! I took notes and wrote down little things for myself but I never spent time writing about the past. Once symptoms have gone into the "chronic" zone that ship has sailed. Yes it's important to understand how we got here (our conditioning from childhood, our personality, life experiences, traumas, etc. etc and for some deeper therapy may be in order) but once we have clarity, the question is how are we unwittingly recreating these emotional themes and beliefs? How are we repeating and reliving the past in the present day? The goal is to break these habits of being ourselves (as Joe Dispenza's book title states). What thoughts and beliefs and fear based stories do we buy into habitually that keep these symptoms alive? What do we really want? What would living in a way that is true to your values and desires look like? What practical changes do we need to make in our lives that symptoms are pushing us to pay attention to? How do we want our story to read? How can we change the victim story to the hero's journey? That's the kind of writing that I personally prefer because it helps us to write a new chapter and dream about the future rather than living in a perpetual Groundhog Day (I love that movie lol!)

 

Definitely not disagreeing with the responses above which are all very good, but just wanted to add that I myself also had my symptoms seem to magnify as they "got angry" with my approach to healing (whether it was journaling, meditation, saying the Sarno Daily Reminders, etc). It's unfortunately common for it to get worse before it gets better. Almost like the inner-child is having a temper tantrum.

 

One thing to keep in mind is that the process is not all about 'getting better.' Part of the process is seeing the connection between the emotional and the symptoms. Regardless of whether you continue this particular practice, it seems you have some evidence, very direct, that emotional stuff (exploration) is connected to symptom increase. This in itself is very important in disconnecting our implicit belief that the symptoms have a physical cause.