back again..how to move forward

Hi all,

Was half way the SEP couple of weeks ago, then the flu striked me
had terribele sinusproblems and a earinfection. ( still not 100%)
got toothpain and the doctors said it was because of my ear
gotten worse and worse: visited my dentist and it apears it came from the tooth:
old filling was bad : got a rootcanal and that pain is gone now (relief!!!)
So one thing after another and this whole thing was not improving my overall health
slept badly and worse : made me more frustrated and lesshopefull

all this time stoped working on the footpain in terms of tmswork ( en stopped the SEP)..i did proceded
with the little walks twice a week : that has worked now for 2,5 months
distance is nothing so far but still i go out and do it
problem is my doubts are worse
now i read in the sarno books that is common with footpain : it is really hard to believe it can be tms
i that is my problem too : i do not doubt the tms in general : had a lot of other pains
but all my issues came and went : except the footpain
if i ever had one single day i could walk painless ; i would really be more hopefull about that
but that has never happened
it improved from the part i could barely took a step
but never went back to normal
my problem is that the diagnoses i've gotten : none ..and a whole lot
still are in the back of my head. The first footdoctor i saw was sure i had a neuroma
and told me : you can have one : and it can be invisisble on a mri..so they can only know : if you will found a doctor who will do surgery on you foot : think twice'.
and : the results are bad en not really hopefull. wich basicly left me with nothing to go on, excepct
a bunch of orthodics who hurt like hell and sure did not make me more mobile (which i am trying to slowly wean off) and a whole lot of doubts.

My symtoms in the beginning where really like all the stories of people with footneuroma's
and these stories scared the shit out of me. I found a huge number of stories of people who suffered years and years ,sometimes for life
(even after surgery) and left me with more fear and doubts. And then my own timeframe is not helping: Almost 4 years since i could normally walk..so how could i ever hope to walk again??
Had teribble tendonitis in the meantime in my shoulder : hurt like hell": took 7 months : now it almost gone: so other parts of my body seem to be capable of healing. If this would be possible with my foot : it should have happened by now..that is what is in my head!
The whole : could it be a neuroma thing was gottten to the back of my head : but since
i started the tmswork : and tried more walking again for the first time since a long time : there is
it back on my radar. "what if there is a neuroma, trapped nerve..they cannot see on mri and ?
now i am trying more walking and will only get more pain and only mess up my life again
with this trying and trying??
The little walks itself are not bad but also not good. Its up and down but never good an promissing.
walking throuht the pain : i have tried so much : cannot do it like that anymore : just left me with more footpain. So for now : will keep going on the twice a week walks : mostly in the hope that my nervessysteem will start to think of it als "normal" and that it will bring a change..maybe a extreme slow one?

I know this sounds like totall doubt in the tms diagnogis : but crazy enough : i know there is
a mind body thing going all ; i am just scared that when it comes to my foot : it is not.


So : excuses for the long story: needed a bit of sharing today!
will try to find the curage to find my way back to the SEP
and must decide then : do i start again on day 1 of proceed where a left off?

Karina

 

Welcome back, Karina!
I struggled with horrible foot pain for nearly 2years, and at one point was in a wheelchair before I figured out it was TMS. I'm so grateful that I didn't let any of the surgeons operate!
I have a neuroma on the bottom of one foot. When I read in Dr. Sarno's book Healing
Back Pain that neuromas are a manifestation of TMS, I talked sternly to my subC about it, and he pain no longer bothers me.
In my case, it was believing 100% that it was TMS that led to healing.

 

Hi Gigi,

Thanks for your reply !
When you say : Talking to your subC and the pain no longer bothers me'..do you mean : You still have footpain but somehow learned to live with it ??
I understand neuroma is a benign tumor (hope this correct english)so if that is in a foot pressing nerves: That is 'structural' to me: Is it not? And how does that relate : I don't think tms can create a neuroma? ..so this part is so confusing to me!

Karina

 

An "invisible" neuroma, that doesn't sound very conclusive to me. My experience with foot-docs, is they are a step up--or down--from snake-oyl salesmen. Their snake-oyls are expensive orthotics that hurt like hell and toe-nail fungus treatments that are a waste of time and money.

Can you find a pool to run in with a flotation belt so you can get 30 minutes of exercise in to maintain your health?

If not go gonzo like SteveO and Sarno recommend and challenge and fight your pain until it surrenders. Try walking for twenty minutes and see if the pain melts. It takes about that long to overcome the TMS fear, warm-up and get the juices going.

 

Hi Tom,

No it does not sounded conclusive that's true. But if it did i was in the same situation.
I do try to maintain health using a stationary bike..but it's not that much so far.
But its something.
The pool was nog a real option before: Was dealing with si jointpain too (now a lot better )
The method of Steve (i've read that book) i am sure is not for me : Would not dare that.
The problem is : When i had shoulder pain i could try stuff like that : See what happens if i do that for 20 munutes' and then : When it did not work, or was way too much : The Next day i rested my shoulder more : Did use it hardly..till it went better : these things are compleet different when it comes to footpain: I did it before: Next day you are back too zero: Cannot do anything then..i cannot deal with that anymore. Do not want to use a wheelchair and crutches i cannot use. And also do not want to. Better try the slow way and hoping to keep adding steps.
I have no doubt that steve had crazy pain when he did that : Even if you have not a big footissue : If you have not use them for so long : Going all over sudden on a 'long' walk will hurt like hell.that is not a question : I know that will be so hard on my mind i would not be able to move on from there. Slow adding steps must be my way ....just wish i had some sort of certainty..a tiny bit of hope that some improvement would come

 

OK folks, anyone out there with some hope or TMS knowledge for Karinabrown to help her get through?

 

Hi Karina. The neuroma is still there, but after I realized that it was a manifestation of TMS and processed the feelings, I no longer feel pain from it.
Talking to my subC is what Sarno and most other MBS practitioners recommend for dealing with TMS. Basically you acknowledge that TMS is causing the pain, tell your subconscious that this is unacceptable and that you want to deal with the feelings instead. With practice this gets easier.
Hope this helps.

 

Hi tom and gigi,

I really appriciate what you are sugesting.
Well maybe when it comes to moving forward maybe for now even without faith : There is only maybe one option (which i am doing) just keep trying to add small amounts of walking and keep working on managing my fear. Today have to go somewhere with my husband which means a lot of sitting in the car (was also s problem for long) and more walking than normally.
These trips where fun a couple of years ago : Now i am fearfull about it. Dicided to go anyway and try to practice some 'outcome independece '
Must say : One year ago i would not have done that..so maybe see that as some kind of progress. And if i keep doing it : More will follow. Thanks !!