Back here again, 2nd time around, healing fast!

Hi TMS people. I thought I'd update about my TMS recovery this time around regarding my low back pain that started 3 weeks ago. Hopefully this will be encouraging to someone.

I was on this forum and the old TMS forum maybe 11 years ago and fully recovered from back pain then. Believe me it was not easy and took my a while to get it but I did get complete recovery. I have also healed myself of Rheumatoid Arthritis over the last couple of years, although that's a more complicated story.

Anyway I am here to say that you are on the right track and have amazing knowledge to heal if you just keep going. My back pain came back about 3 weeks ago out of the blue after years of being virtually pain free. I immediately realised what was happening and because of all that TMS "training" I did years ago I am happy to say that I'm doing really well recovering this time, really fast.

It is amazing to me how well-programmed I am from the work I did back then. I have dropped right back into immediate recognition and acceptance, thinking psychological, telling myself that the pain is inconvenient and annoying but not remotely serious or harmful. It's like I know exactly what to do and what is going on and I've just gone automatically into TMS recovery mode and it is working. Brilliant.

I had to laugh to myself when the pain suddenly got horrendously bad three days ago which was the day after I arrived here in Cyprus on holiday with my husband and son. I sneezed and my back went into such horrendous spasms that I was in that situation where you're lying on the floor gasping for breath the pain is so bad. Even my son who is unbelievably unobservant actually looked over the top of his iPad to see if I was ok LOL. My husband was really worried and asked if I wanted to see a doctor.

Well I just heaved myself on to my bed and took a couple of ibuprofen (with no should I / shouldn't I drama, just so that I could get a bit of immediate relief so I could do the work of focusing on the psychological). I told the 2 of them to go to the pool and after they'd gone started writing down every single nasty dark horrible thought I could come up with on my laptop.

As it turns out there is a lot of pressure involved in going on an expensive holiday and being in very close proximity with family. I admitted to myself all this and lots of other things and did pretty well acknowledging some of the "unacceptable" feelings I have around disappointment and conflict, noticing my desire for everyone to be having a wonderful time all the time and guilt when that isn't happening. Things that have been building up for a long time if I'm honest. All the usual people pleasing crap us TMS folk know only too well. There were some tears I wasn't expecting. There is definite rage.

I was still in pain last night and have had some sharp twinges on and off all day but the main thing - what feels like true freedom! - is that I AM NOT REMOTELY SCARED OF THE PAIN. That seems absolutely key to me now. I went for a walk today, I have been in the pool, I have been jumping over the waves. I just keep telling myself that my back is 100% strong and healthy and the pain is real but just caused by lack of oxygen in my muscles and not remotely serious. Even when I was rolling on the floor the other day gasping at the pain, I was more annoyed at it than scared, and when I say "I had to laugh" I literally do mean that part of me found it funny because I knew exactly what was going on.

This evening we are going to dinner shortly and I have a bit of pain but it is minimal and honestly I don't care and will go out and have a nice meal anyway. And I'm going to a yoga class tomorrow.

My life would have been so very different if I hadn't ever discovered TMS and Sarno and I'm very grateful. Just in this situation without this knowledge I am sure that I would have added tons of fear and imagination about discs and nerves etc and be laid up in bed for the rest of the holiday and probably way beyond that and who knows what.

What a gift we have been given! Trust and keep sharing and reading and journaling and learning, you will get there too!