Back to the back pain

I could use some support. It's been 5 1/2 weeks since I read Sarno's first two books and 4 weeks since I started the structured education program - I am on Day 12. It is working! I know this. I stopped going to PT, I started strength training, I haven't taken advil or used a heating pad, many amazing moments of no pain or pain that I can change or make go away! However - in the past 5 days or so in the upper back pain has returned persistently (worse toward the end of the day but it flashes on as soon as i get out of bed) - really painful tightness, numb skin and what I used to call searing and burning but what someone on the forum described as "shards of glass under my skin" (perfect description). I am struggling to manage it, let alone change it or make it go away. I know I have to be patient. I also know that my thoughts about this start a pain loop. The fear - but I don't think I am conscious of the fear thoughts - so how do I interrupt them. So what I would like to ask the forum is - what tips, what exercises, practices, etc...can you share with me to become conscious of the fear that starts the loop! or anything else about this that would be helpful. Thank you in advance for your support! HUG!

 

Welcome, Jane, and well done. You are getting serious about this emotional work and exploration, and the body will have one more go at distracting you. (and maybe more than one) And if you seem to be really accepting of this TMS stuff, well, it might just think it needs to have a really strong go to get your attention back on the physical. I've experienced this!

I found the work of Clair Weekes to be helpful. She talks about finding the gap, that place between where we had no fear and the fear starts. It's also a gap between an event and the reaction. For me, this has been useful for learning to interrupt the cycle that would start up fear thoughts and anxiety (and pain).

For times when the pain hits and I'm caught off guard, slow, deep breathing can help to calm my nervous system and allow the pain to be without fear. Yin yoga also does this for me (in times of pain or not, just as a general calming). And sometimes asking 'what do I need?' or 'what is underneath this?' as I am breathing consciously.

Generally, I keep up with my morning journalling with the goal of being as self-honest as possible about my emotions (and then shredding the pages). For me recently, I have also used the reminder 'I am safe, I am loved and I am free.' Because this speaks to my anxieties and is my best calming message at the moment. (ok, yes, I talk to myself!) And, I value and cultivate my sense of humour and celebrate any times that I am feeling good and just enjoy it and move and laugh.

Aimee

 

Heard a quote on the podcast Crushing Doubt. “Replace fear with curiosity “. Alan Gordon talks about this too. There must be fear when the pain comes. There is for me. I start asking myself, will it ever end? I’m so tired of it.
We must be indifferent to the pain. Except that it just is, until one day it just ain’t.

 

Aimee- so many great nuggets in your reply. I think I’ll print it! I love the idea of exploring the gap. I’m also enjoying the ability to discern physically induced pain and psychologically induced pain. Experiencing consciously the differences between how sore I am from pulling roots and trees out of my garden and the pains flaring up after a weekend with family and slacking on journaling. When the difference is clear and identifiable it feels really empowering. And to know the solution. What a gift. I will look up Clare. Thanks

 

Jane, you have made some great connections. I've been watching this talk with Howard Schubiner. It's good for me to just keep hearing the message.