Celebrating a victory!

It's been a little over two weeks since I first realized my pain was TMS. I have been working the SEP and feeling myself getting progressively better. This past weekend, I took a huge step. My family lives three hours away, and before I knew I had TMS, the thought of driving or even being a passenger in the car with my husband on a trip to visit my family for Easter seemed unbearable. Because of the pain while driving/sitting, I skipped traveling to be with my family for Easter.
Well, since discovering TMS, I anticipated Mother's Day weekend with determination, admittedly mixed with a tinge of fear and self-imposed pressure. My husband traveled to see his own mom, so I was on my own (along with my sweet dog) for the three hour drive. Even though it was a big step for me, I told myself: 1) I'm not letting TMS ruin another family celebration for me, and 2) it's just TMS, and it won't physically harm me or "set me back" to sit in the car that long.
I left on Saturday, and I took my time packing up the car and getting out the door. I told myself this was a big enough step for me and I wasn't going to make myself more anxious by setting unnecessary deadlines and rushing around like I normally do. I played some good music in the car and told myself to just relax and enjoy the downtime. Because of all the family events I needed to attend while in town, and how the family is spread out across town, I ended up driving for a combined total of ten hours on Saturday and Sunday!
I certainly had aches and pangs of pain, but I told myself that it was just TMS and it was just trying to challenge my strength and resolve. When I felt pain, I focused on breathing (because I inevitably realized I hadn't been breathing regularly every time), and I tried to focus my breath on the area of pain- while staying focused fully on driving. On the way home yesterday, about an hour into the trip I started feeling really achey. I think I knew I was in the homestretch for the weekend and was anxious to be out of the car. I thought about stopping at a rest stop to get out and move my body, but I told myself there was another rest stop 40 miles down the road and I would stop if I still felt really sore. Lo and behold, I cruised right past that rest stop and ended up doing the three hour drive home straight through!
Once I got home and got myself and my dog all unpacked, I laid down on the floor and cried with pride at what I had just done. Any residual aches from the long car rides melted away and I just reveled in the feeling of accomplishment. I took on TMS and won. TMS and car rides can't beat me, because I'll always know that I spent ten hours in a two day period in the car and came out feeling victorious, and not beaten down. I still have work to do, but this was a huge milestone for me.

 

Hi Kris,
Thank you for the wonderful report. The blow-by-blow details of the pain arriving, the fear of pain, ignoring pain, and then the breakthroughs is very instructive! I am so happy that you feel and know this "revelation." This is a huge growth spurt in your understanding, and it is great to yell it far and wide, and to feel the satisfaction.

This is a story to tell yourself every day, and any time the doubts might come up.I am celebrating with you!
Andy B.