Confuse in tms Dr sanro approach

The more I am reading about TMS, the more I am getting confused. At one place, doctor John Sanro says that various types of anxiety, stress, pressure, fear, sadness, anger etc. increase the pain of TMS, meaning they activate danger signals in the brain, but all these emotions are a part of life and in today's life we cannot run away from them. This is my question, this is question1. That we have to fear these things; that stress, work pressure, anxiety, fear, anger should not come in our life; or while feeling these things without worrying whether stress will come or not, whether there will be anxiety or not, whether there will be worry or not, whether there will be anger or not, we just have to feel these things and keep ourselves safe while feeling them? 2nd question: At one place doctor John Prabh says that we only have to work with these things, for example to activate calm signal along with pain, which is difficult because it always frustrates and it is natural, pain will definitely frustrate you, so how do we keep ourselves calm with pain and in another paragraph when a woman says that I always remain calm with all this but still you are not improving then Sanro says that the personality of keeping calm activates pressure within you due to which you are not improving, then we have to keep working or are not able to understand anything no, both the statements are contrary to yours